Modern Iliad

We're wrapping up 2014 with a modern adaptation of the Iliad!  This was written as an assignment for a Western Humanities class.  The instructor's example of a modern take on the Iliad was a bunch of kindergarteners fighting over a teddy bear...which is accurate.  Please note that the "links" at the bottom do not actually exist, but I wanted to make it seem like H (Homer) was a blogger like myself.

I hope you guys enjoy this interpretation, and I'll be back on Friday with an introduction to Japanese mythology!


Disclaimer: I know nothing about football except what little I have gleaned from watching the Superbowl for its commercials and from Wikipedia. I know even less about cheerleading. I apologize in advance.

October 7th, 2014

I’m just gonna go ahead and dedicate this to my darling, my muse, who inspired me to write this. Without her I would never have put this into words.

This account is all about how pissed off Achilles got. But that’s not how it started. Let me tell you:

It all began when Helen switched schools to be with her new boy-toy. Unfortunately, she didn’t break up with her previous boyfriend before doing this. Menelaus was understandably upset - after all, she was the hottest cheerleader in town. She was kind of a trophy for him to parade around in front of all the other jocks. For her to leave him for the sissy mascot of the Trojan school was a huge insult. Naturally, he took this up with his brother, Agamemnon. After all, if the Achaeans could defeat the Trojans in football, they would shame the school - and its mascot - forever. Menelaus was also hoping that he could show off enough to win Helen back.

The brackets for the season had already been set, and the Achaeans would have to beat a lot of other schools in order to play against the Trojans. The Trojan quarterback, Hector, was an amazing player. His plays had won the Trojans many a game. He was also the brother of Paris, so Agamemnon knew he would play hard to defend his brother’s honor. Luckily for the Achaeans, they had a quarterback who was more than Hector’s match - Achilles. Though Agamemnon was the coach, Achilles was the one who decided the plays and won the game. With his help, Agamemnon was sure he could help win Menelaus’ girlfriend back.

The games were fierce, with both Trojans and Achaeans winning in all of their games. Along the way Achilles fell for a cheerleader named Briseis, who had cheered for a school whose team the Achaeans had defeated. Agamemnon also began a relationship with a cheerleader, this one named Chryseis. When her father found out he was furious, due to the age difference between his daughter and Agamemnon. He threatened to sue Agamemnon and have him banned from coaching if he did not break off the relationship. Seeing no other choice, Agamemnon dumped Chryseis.

Irritated that he had been forced to give up a beautiful woman, Agamemnon sulked whenever he saw Achilles with his new girlfriend. Finally he gathered the team together. Pointing out that he was the one who did all the work, and that without him the team could not play, he demanded that Achilles break off his relationship with Briseis, claiming it distracted him from playing. Achilles refused to do so, but Agamemnon would not relent, and Achilles was eventually forced to give in. Since Briseis was legally an adult, Agamemnon began to try and woo her.

Furious at this turn of events, Achilles sulked. He refused to play in any practices or games, as did his best friend Patroclus. Nothing any of his teammates said could get him off of the bench. This left Ajax as the quarterback, who possessed far less talent than Achilles. The Achaeans’ scores began to suffer, though they still won their games - barely.

Finally the big game arrived. Trojans and Achaeans faced off against each other for first place. Menelaus was essentially useless during the game, as he spent most of the time glowering at Paris, who proudly paraded around in a horse costume. Helen had joined the Trojan cheerleaders and rooted loudly for the team, seemingly oblivious to the longing stares of Menelaus.

With Ajax leading the Achaeans did poorly. Hector led the Trojans through a number of successful plays, scoring several touchdowns. By half-time the Achaeans were in bad shape. Odysseus, who had made the team due to a gift at coming up with plays, despite his geekyness, approached Agamemnon. He urged him to give Achilles back Briseis and bring him back into the game. Agamemnon refused at first but relented when other players agreed with Odysseus. Approaching Achilles, who still sat sulking, he offered him a deal - he would allow him to date Briseis again if Achilles would win the game. Despite the prompting of his teammates, Achilles refused.

Patroclus, however, was moved - not by Agamemnon’s speech, but by the plight of his teammates. He was put back into the game, replacing Ajax as quarterback. During the second half of the game he blocked the plays of the Achaeans and helped even the score, leading his team to a few touchdowns and penalty kicks. With just a few minutes left on the clock he started a new play. It led to a successful touchdown, tying the Trojans and the Achaeans, but during the course of the play Patroclus was tackled by Hector. The injury was ruled accidental by the judges and no penalty was called, but Patroclus was taken to the hospital with a severe concussion.

With the game tied, overtime was called. Enraged by the damage Hector had caused to Patroclus, Achilles agreed to finally enter the game. He made some pretty risky calls on the field, but he was something to watch, let me tell you. You’ve seen Star Wars, right? It was like watching Yoda plow through an army of clones. Nothing could stand in his way.

The Achaeans were ahead on the score as the Trojans made their final play. Hector called it and everyone started running, but Achilles headed straight for him. Thinking he had a shot, Hector threw the football - only to have Achilles jump up and slam it to the ground, landing on Hector. They began to scuffle, oblivious to the whistles of the judges. Their teammates finally managed to pull them apart. With no time left on the clock, the Achaeans were judged the winners.

Hector went to the hospital with a broken nose, but Achilles wasn’t done humiliating him yet. Knowing that Odysseus filmed every game, he asked for the help of his teammates. Before the night was over, a video of Hector’s humiliation at the hands of Achilles had gone viral. Its views increased every day, until Hector’s father came to Achilles and begged him to pull the video down. He appealed to Achilles, asking him what it would be like to have his family and friends see him defeated, to hear everyone laughing at it while their boy was in the hospital. Reminded of his own father, Achilles finally relented and deleted the video.

This isn’t the end of the story, but it tells the point I wanted to make - don’t piss off Achilles. Seriously. He’ll never let it go, but you’ll wish he had.

And with that, I’m signing off. Until next time, peeps!

H out.

Related blog posts you might find interesting:

Odysseus Missing: Took the wrong bus home?

Eris interrupts Beauty Pageant with disastrous results

The Star of Bethlehem

I wanted to do a special post for the holiday season, so this post is a little different from my normal ones. We’re going to be talking about the Star of Bethlehem, and some theories astronomers have on what this star might have been. Whether you believe in the story of the star (as I do) or consider it a myth (as many do), I hope you’ll find this post interesting.

To start with - what is the Star of Bethlehem? It is the star that foretold the birth of Jesus to the magi. The magi - “wise men” - then followed this star to where Jesus lay.

I had never thought very much about what the star might have been, but this past spring I took an astronomy class. The course was fascinating, and I learned quite a bit, but what interested me the most was a short video I saw discussing the Star of Bethlehem. This was particularly intriguing to me because I attend a non-Christian college. It made me curious, and I’ve since done more research on different theories as to what the star might have been.

Some background information on the wise men is helpful to begin with. Many ancient cultures placed high importance upon reading portents within the stars. Because of this, the magi were more than likely astrologers. They would have assigned great meaning to what they saw happening within the sky.

The most basic theory of the Star of Bethlehem is that it was a nova, or a supernova. A nova is when a white dwarf (think of it as the shell of a dead star) lets off an explosion. Anyone who sees the white dwarf will notice that it appears to be visibly brighter for a period of time afterwards. A supernova is when a star lets off an explosion that destroys the star, and is much brighter than a nova.

The problem with both of these theories is that nova and supernova are highly noticeable - and would have been even more so, before light pollution existed. Ancient astrologers/astronomers from around the world kept records of stars that appeared to grow brighter for a time, and no such record exists in the proper time and place for Jesus’ birth.

The theory that many astronomers today like best involves two concepts that I’ll try to explain. The first is called conjunction (anybody else suddenly get School House Rock stuck in their head?). Conjunction is when two or more objects within the sky pass close together. If you’ve seen the Fifth Element, conjunction is that moment when all of the planets appear to line up perfectly. However, in astronomy objects in conjunction do not have to be directly atop one another. They simply have to be close.

The second concept is called apparent retrograde motion, and this one is a little trickier to explain. All stars have orbits (for this post, we’re also going to consider the planets to be stars, since that was how the astrologers likely saw them.). Apparent retrograde motion occurs when Earth’s orbit takes it past another star. Think of a highway. You’re in your car, and you pass the car in the lane next to you. The car you pass appears to be moving backward relative to your car, even though it’s still moving forward. The same thing is true of the stars. When Earth moves ahead of another star, the star appears to move backward in the sky for a period of time.

Now that you know about conjunction and apparent retrograde motion, let’s talk about my favorite theory of the Star of Bethlehem.

A few years before the birth of Jesus, there was a triple conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn. This multiple conjunction occurred when Jupiter moved into conjunction with Saturn, then past it. Earth then moved ahead of Jupiter due to our smaller orbit, causing apparent retrograde motion that made Jupiter move back into conjunction with Saturn. Jupiter moved past Saturn in the opposite direction...before the apparent retrograde motion ended and Jupiter again moved into conjunction with Saturn!

Remember how I said the magi were likely astrologers that read signs in the sky? Jupiter is named after the Roman god of the same name - who is king over all the other gods. Saturn is the father of Jupiter in the myths, and was king before Jupiter. I’m no astrologer, just a mythology enthusiast, but even I would probably assume that the triple conjunction had something to do with kings!

A year after the triple conjuncture, there was another astronomical event - in case the first one wasn’t enough to pique the interest of the magi. Once again, there were three conjunctions (these ones between Jupiter and Regulus) followed by a conjunction between Jupiter, Regulus, and Venus. Once again, Jupiter is the king of the Roman pantheon. Venus is considered to be the mother goddess of Rome. The Latin word “Regulus” means “prince” or “little king”.

I’m not sure what theory of the Star of Bethlehem is true (there are several others that involve conjunction, apparent retrograde motion, and the constellations of the zodiac that occurred around the time of Jesus’ birth), but I know that they’re very interesting to research and learn about. I hope you enjoyed reading about some of the more prominent theories!

I’ll be back with our last blog post of the year on Monday - a short modern adaptation of the Iliad. Next Friday we’ll start in on Japanese mythology, which is fascinating! I’ll see you then. Hope you guys all had great holidays!

Fate: You Can't Escape It

I’m getting the feeling that Fate was important to ancient cultures.

We talked about it in our Norse conclusion. We’ve talked about both the Norse and the Greek Fates - three women who personified and ruled over the concept of Fate.

There are references to Fate everywhere you look in Greek mythology. Many Greek heroes are exposed to the elements as children and left to die - but they inevitably survive and go on to fulfill their destiny.

Prophecies in the Greek myths cannot be circumvented - what is foretold must come to pass. There’s a Greek play called Oedipus the King, in which Oedipus receives a prophecy that he will kill his father and sleep with his mother. Oedipus leaves his home to avoid this fate, not realizing that the people who raised him are not his birth parents - who he later unknowingly finds. His life unfolds just as the prophecy said it would, despite his efforts to stop it.

In my post about Zeus I talked a little bit about Danae. Her father, Acrisius, locks Danae up to prevent a prophecy that said her son would kill him. Despite all his precautions, Danae still gets impregnated by Zeus, and her son, Perseus, slays Acrisius.

These are only a few of the examples of Fate in the lives of mortals. However, just as in Norse mythology, Fate is not reserved for only humans. It also affects the gods.

Perhaps the most striking example of this can be found in the Iliad. The Greek pantheon favored heroes on both sides of the Trojan War, and occasionally intervened on their behalf. However, Homer also shows the gods watching a pivotal moment in the war - and doing nothing, despite their desire to act.

This moment is when Hector, champion of Troy, is abou to be slain by Achilles, hero of the Greeks. Zeus, knowing that Hector is fated to die, asks the gods to vote on whether or not they should save him - and is rebuked by Athena. The goddess of wisdom asks if Zeus is really considering saving a man whose Fate was decided long ago. She then says that Zeus could act if he really wants to, but that the other gods will not be a part of it.

Zeus immediately backpedals and says that he wasn’t actually thinking of defying fate...really!

I think what intrigues me the most about this is the fact that Athena stats that Zeus could act - implying that the gods can act against Fate. However, her refusal to be a part of it also seems to indicate that there would be consequences for challenging that which is meant to be.

All of these examples seem to show that the ancient Greeks believed in Fate, and that it played a major role in their lives. But what was that role? Was it a way of comforting them about their station in life? If one was a shepherd, that person was obviously fated to be a shepherd, so it was alright!

Or was it a control mechanism for the authorities? They were fated to rule, and you were fated to be a poor servant, and there was nothing you could do about it.

As with my post about the Norse view of Fate, I have no idea...but I would love to hear your thoughts! Please comment below or email me.

I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas! On Friday I’ll be doing a special post for the holidays. Then, next Monday I’ll be posting a short modern adaptation of the Iliad. That will let us start the New Year with a new mythology - Japanese!

Stay tuned, and I’ll see you guys next post!

Odysseus, Athena, and Penelope: The Clever Trio

In my Intro I talked a little bit about Athena. Athena is the Greek goddess of war, but specifically of intelligent, cunning warfare. She is also the goddess of weaving (which fits with war...somehow?) 

Throughout the Greek myths, Athena is shown to favor and aid heroes who are especially clever.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the books by Homer - a little in the Iliad, but mostly in the Odyssey.

The Odyssey is the tale of a character named Odysseus, and of his journey home after the Trojan War. The war itself lasted for ten years, and Odysseus’ journey home takes another decade - mostly because he accidentally incurred the wrath of Poseidon, the god of the seas. (Not a good thing to do if you’re planning a sea voyage home!)

The Odyssey focuses on Odysseus’ journey home (one could even call it his...odyssey...home!) , but it also tells the story of his son, Telemachus. Telemachus was just a boy when Odysseus left for the war, and has grown into a young man without his father to guide him. The Odyssey also shows the gods watching the hero and his family from their home on Mount Olympus, occasionally helping them (Athena) or hindering Odysseus’ efforts (Poseidon).

However, what makes the Odyssey so interesting to me is the other character that it focuses on. This character is Odysseus’ wife, Penelope. We’ll talk more about her in a minute.

Why does Athena have such an interest in Odysseus and his family? The answer can be found in Homer’s works. Most passages that refer to Odysseus denote him as “clever” or “cunning”. Odysseus is a sneaky warrior. In gamer’s terms, he’s a rogue. He is intelligent and strategic - things that put him under the care of Athena.

However, Odysseus is not alone in his cleverness. His wife Penelope is also quite cunning.

In the Odyssey, Odysseus has been missing for twenty years. Almost everyone assumes that he is dead. Because of this, suitors flock to his home and begin to try and woo Penelope’s hand in marriage - because marrying her would grant them Odysseus’ wealth and power.

Penelope hasn’t given up hope that her husband is alive. To stall the suitors and buy Odysseus time to return to her, Penelope devises a plan. Every day she weaves part of a funeral shroud for her father-in-law. Every night, she pulls out all of her weaving. She keeps this up for years before the suitors catch on.

Penelope is obviously quite a sneaky woman. If that wasn’t enough to make Athena like her, Penelope’s cleverness revolves around weaving - another thing that Athena presides over. Perhaps it is due to this that the goddess aids Odysseus and his family.

In the end, Odysseus returns home. He and his son slaughter the suitors (don’t worry, they totally deserved it), and Penelope is reunited with her husband. Their cleverness (and the help of a certain goddess) has won the day.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Most of the time, Penelope’s intelligence is glossed over in favor of her husband’s, so I felt she deserved a post that discussed how she aided Odysseus. If the post interested you, or if you disagree with anything I’ve said, please email me or comment below. If you have time, I highly recommend reading the Odyssey - it’s a very interesting and entertaining story!

Next post we’ll conclude this set of Greek posts by talking about Fate and the way the ancient Greeks thought of it. I’ll see you guys then!

Achilles: A Third Generation of Skywalker

If you’ve seen the Star Wars trilogies, you know that Luke Skywalker started out pretty whiny. His predecessor, Anakin Skywalker, was even worse. His entire trip to the Dark side was because he’s an emo, self-centered brat.

I’m convinced that Achilles is the ancestor of Anakin.

The demigod Achilles is the main character of the Iliad, a tale about the war of Troy that was written by Homer. The entire book is all about the wrath of Achilles, and the consequences of said wrath.

But why is Achilles wrathful, one might ask?

Well, “wrath” is a bit of a strong word. “Upset”, “sulky”, and “throwing a temper tantrum” could all be used in its stead. The source of this emotion, whatever you want to call it, is as follows:

In the ancient Greek culture, it was a common practice for warriors to take prizes after a successful battle. Women were considered to be prizes. Achilles had taken a lovely girl named Briseis as his prize after a victory in battle.

The leader of the Greek army, Agamemnon, had also taken a woman as a trophy. Unfortunately, this girl’s father was a priest who called down the wrath of Apollo upon the Greek army. Agamemnon returned the girl to her father to stop the god’s wrath, leaving him without a prize.

The ancient Greeks had a concept called “arete”. It’s difficult to translate, but it was basically a sense of how skilled a person was. Your arete was demonstrated by your prowess in battle, which was shown by what trophies you had.

To make up for having lost his trophy - and therefore some of his arete - Agamemnon took Briseis from Achilles. This damaged Achilles’ arete, making him less of a warrior in the eyes of the other Greeks.

Because of this, Achilles goes off to sulk. Then, the great hero of the Greek army quite literally calls upon his mother, Thetis, a minor goddess of the sea. Achilles then begins to whine and complain to her.

(They somehow forgot to put that part in the movie Troy. I wonder why...)

Achilles then asks Thetis to go to Zeus and beg him to let the Trojans win in battle against the Greeks - that way Achilles can swoop in and save the day.

This really irritates me, because Achilles is basically asking the gods to let the men he fights alongside die - all so that he can have more glory later.

Unfortunately for the Greek army, the gods grant his request. As the Greeks begin to lose more and more battles, Agamemnon realizes that they need Achilles. He gives Briseis back to Achilles, but the hero still refuses to return to the battle. It is not until his best friend, Patroclus, is slain that Achilles re-enters the battle, destroying the Trojan hero Hector. Patroclus’ death was a result of Achilles plea to Zeus, but the demigod shows no remorse for his actions.

The Iliad ends with the funeral of Hector, and with Achilles getting his way. It does not contain the subsequent fall of Troy, nor the death of Achilles.

Is anyone else annoyed by this? I mean, come on. Achilles throws a hissy fit and good men die because of it, but they still give him what he wants. The story ends with him happy, victorious, and basking in his glory.

Seriously?! This guy was considered a hero?

I’ll end my rant against Achilles here (I reaaaaally hate the guy). You guys have any thoughts on the Iliad or Achilles? Do you like the demigod? If so, please post below or email me! I’d love to hear your defense of his actions, and see if you can convince me that he’s not actually Darth Achilles.

Next time we’ll be talking about the interesting trio of Athena, Penelope, and Odysseus, and what they all have in common. Good news! Odysseus is a hero of the Trojan War that I actually like!

I’ll see you then!

The Moirai: Spinners of Fate

If you’ve watched Disney’s Hercules, you probably remember the scary old ladies with the scissors and the thread and the doom and the gloom...not that I’m creeped out by them or anything!

Those ladies are Disney’s interpretation of the Moirai.

The Greek word “moira” means portion, and “Moirai” means apportioner. It’s a word not often used in modern times, but it means one who divides or assigns. “Moirai” is also translated to mean Fate, for it is what the Moirai portion out for all living things.

The origins of the Moirai change depending on which myths one reads. Sometimes they are the daughters of Ananke, goddess of inevitability. (If you’ve seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ananke was personified as Anya, the vengeance demon that Xander dated.) More often, the parents of the Moirai are Zeus and Themis, a Titan who represented divine order and law. Either way, the Moirai are clearly the daughters of beings representing aspects of Fate.

There are three Moirai - Clotho, who spins the thread of life; Lachesis, who measures the thread; and Atropos, who cuts the thread. If you read my Norse post about the Norns, you’ll see that the Moirai are incredibly similar to them - which is fascinating, given how different ancient Norse and Greek cultures were from one another.

The most interesting thing about the Moirai - and their most striking similarity to the Norns - is who they spun their thread for. The answer is everyone. Even the Greek gods were subject to Fate, and were unable to act against it. This is particularly interesting when one considers that the Moirai are daughters of the gods, and thus came into existence after the gods did. Did Fate not exist before they were born? Were the gods not subject to its rule until the Moirai came into being?

We’ll talk a little more about the Moirai when I do my post about Fate and the role it plays in the Greek myths. For now, I’d love to hear your thoughts on them! I’m aware of two other mythologies that have three women representing Fate (Roman and Celtic), but I’d love to hear about it if you know of any others! Please post below or email me with comments or questions.

Stay tuned - next post I’ll be talking about Achilles, who is perhaps the best known “hero” of Greek mythology!

Hermes: A Most Charming Thieving Scoundrel

In Greek mythology, Hermes plays the role of the trickster.

Don’t get me wrong - all of the gods can be capricious. They trick mortals all the time (usually into having sex with them). They trick each other (or try to). However, none of the rest of the pantheon comes close to being as mischievous as Hermes - and none of them take the same joy in mischief as he does.

If you read my post about the Norse god Loki, you might be equating Hermes with him. After all, both of them are mischievous trickster gods. However, it is there that their similarities end. Loki is villainous and nefarious, often using his tricks to hurt others. On the other hand is Hermes, who represents the more lighthearted aspect of mischief.

Hermes is one of the twelve major members of the Greek pantheon, and is a son of Zeus. It is fitting that we should talk about Hermes after the post about Hades (I didn’t plan it that way!), because Hermes escorts the souls of the dead to the Underworld.

Hermes is also the messenger of the gods. These two tasks make him the god of travelers and the god of messengers. However, Hermes is also the god of thieves.

(I’ve often wondered - if a thief tries to rob a traveler and a messenger on the road, what happens? Whose side does Hermes take? Would the thief be successful, or would the others prevail?)

But how did Hermes become the god of thieves, one might ask? The answer can be found on the day of his birth.

One of the first things the newborn Hermes did was to steal the cattle of his brother, Apollo. Apollo is another son of Zeus, and is the god of the sun and of prophecy. Apollo was understandably upset at the theft of his property and tracked Hermes back to his hideout. The baby god lay in his cradle and acted innocent, but Apollo was not fooled. He dragged Hermes before their father, Zeus, and demanded that he be punished.

Zeus’ response was to bust out laughing. Can you blame him? The almighty god of the sun had been tricked by a newborn babe! Hermes charmed Zeus with an elegant defense speech, so instead of punishing him, Zeus made Hermes part of the pantheon.

Hermes settled with Apollo out of the court, returning his cattle and giving Apollo a lyre (a musical instrument Hermes had invented...in between being born and stealing the cattle). This made Apollo the god of music. Satisfied, Apollo and Hermes became fast friends.

And all of this on the first day of Hermes’ life! You can imagine how many more adventures this charming scoundrel went on - and he almost always came out on top.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about Hermes - he really does have the most hilarious stories. As always, please email me with questions or comments, or feel free to post them below. Next post we’ll talk about the Moirai. They’re the creepy ladies with the scissors and thread from Disney’s Hercules!

Hades: Duty Amidst Debauchery

The Greek pantheon is almost always depicted in some form of debauchery. This makes sense: Hermes is the god of thieves, Ares the god of bloody combat, Dionysus the god of wine. On the female side is Aphrodite, goddess of sex. It’s to be expected that the pantheon would indulge in these things, given that their members embodied them.

Hades does not participate in the revelries of the other gods.

It always amused me that Disney chose Hades to be the villain of Hercules - I think that’s part of why I never liked the movie. In my opinion, Hades is the best of the gods. He is just, dutiful, and faithful - three things which can rarely be said of the rest of the pantheon.

Hades gets a bad rap for two reasons. First of all, he’s the god of death. This is hardly ever a popular thing to be the god of, despite the fact that everyone will eventually become his subject. However, the Greek afterlife was not a horrible place - at least not for everyone.

To start with, Hades was made ruler of the Underworld by chance. After the Greek pantheon overthrew the Titans, who had ruled before them, the three godly brothers drew lots to determine who would rule where. Zeus drew the sky, Poseidon the ocean, and Hades the Underworld. Instead of complaining, Hades took his lumps and went to rule over the dead, seldom leaving his realm.

The Greek Underworld was divided into three main sections. The dead were presided over by three judges, who ruled on which section of the Underworld the dead would be sent to. Those who had committed truly evil acts were sent to Tartarus, where they would be punished according to the crimes they had committed while alive. Those who had not done evil, but also had not done great good, wandered the Fields of Asphodel for all eternity. These Fields were a place of mundane existence where the dead just sort of wander around. The dead drank from a river that made them forget their past lives before being sent to the Asphodel Fields. The last major place in the Underworld was Elysium, where those who had done heroic acts in life went to party their afterlife away.

So you see that the Underworld Hades ruled was not a terrible place. What you did in life was what you got in death. It was a fair system; the judges gave you what you deserved.

The second reason for people’s dislike of Hades involves his betrothal to Persephone. In most of the more modern depictions of this event, the story is called “The Rape of Persephone.”

Now, of course such a name would lead to negative responses! The word rape carries hugely negative connotations, and rightly so. However, the event with Persephone was misnamed. Let me explain.

In my post about Zeus, I mentioned that he slept with the goddess Demeter. This union produced Persephone. Zeus later promised to give Persephone to Hades as his wife. However, Zeus did not see fit to mention this to either Demeter or Persephone - so the daughter of Zeus was unprepared when Hades came to claim his bride.

One of the most famous pictures of this event - again titled “The Rape of Persephone” - depicts Hades hauling Persephone off in his chariot against her will. Nowadays such a thing seems terrible and wrong. However, this was a common way to take a bride in ancient cultures.

One of the best examples of this is Rome (if you don’t mind my stepping away from Greece for a moment). When Rome was first built, there were very few women in the city. Rome attempted to make marriage arrangements with its neighbors, notably the Sabines. When this failed, Roman men kidnapped the Sabine women and made them their wives. (If you’ve seen Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, this event was the basis of the song “Sobbin’ Women”.) The kidnapping of the Sabine women is called the “Rape of the Sabine Women” - because the Romans used the same word for “rape” as they did for “abduction”. Early translators simply used the wrong form of the word.

I hope you can see that Hades’ abduction of Persephone was not such a terrible thing in olden times. Her father had betrothed her to Hades, and taking a woman back to your home was a common marriage practice, even if it was against her will. Women didn’t have much say in anything back then. The fault in the matter actually lies with Zeus for not having informed Persephone and her mother of her betrothal to Hades.

Once the issues of Persephone’s abduction and being god of the dead have been set aside, Hades doesn’t seem like such a bad guy. He remains faithful to Persephone despite her loathing of him, and makes peace with Demeter for taking her daughter (even though it was Zeus’ fault). He does his job fairly, and is not unkind - even allowing the mortal Orpheus a chance to bring his wife back from the dead. Hades does not get drunk, does not sleep around, and does not participate in wild parties like the rest of the gods do. In short, he’s a decent guy.

Perhaps the reason the Greeks didn’t talk more about Hades was because they thought he was boring compared to the rest of the pantheon!

I hope I’ve given a decent defense of Hades’ character - maybe even made you like him. If you agree, disagree, or want to chime in about anything else, hit me up below or through email!

I’ll see you guys next post - make sure and keep an eye on your valuables as we talk about the god of thieves!

Chosen of the Gods: Hammerfall

I’m interrupting my normal schedule to share something hugely important to me with you guys (fear not, I’ll put up the post about Hades on Friday! I’m not skipping my favorite god!)

I published my book!

Hammerfall is the first in the Chosen of the Gods series. It follows a police officer named Liam who finds Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor. The use of Mjolnir grants Liam some of the god’s powers. His finding the hammer is no coincidence - Ragnarok, the Doom of the gods, has arrived, and the gods need the help of mortal heroes. To stop Ragnarok, Liam will team up with a berserk warrior, the descendent of a valkyrie, and a woman who bears a relic of Loki - but the Trickster watches the group through the eyes of this woman and tries to counteract their every move. Can the unlikely group of heroes stop Loki and halt Ragnarok, or will they be forced to watch the world end in fire?

If you’re interested, or if you just want to support me because you’re awesome like that, the book can be purchased through Amazon here.

The book contains a fair chunk of Norse mythology. It has mythical details that ought to interest those new to Norse mythology, as well as some that ought to please the Norse enthusiast. If you read my Norse posts and found them interesting, or if you just like my writing style, I think you’ll enjoy Hammerfall.

If you read the book and like it, I would ask that you please leave me a review on Amazon. I’m a small author self-publishing, so the only way people will hear about my book is via word of mouth. Your review would give my book credibility and hopefully lead to more people checking it out.
Speaking of which, please feel free to share this with any friends you think might be interested!  Maybe you know someone who really likes mythology, or who just really, really like's Marvel's Thor.  If that's the case, they'd probably enjoy Hammerfall!

Thank you guys so much for your support! I’m so excited!

Zeus: Keep it in your pants, dude!

The title of this post may seem crude, but it is very accurate. Zeus is a notorious womanizer in most of the Greek myths, a love ’em and leave ’em sort of god. As I mentioned in my Intro post, Zeus is married to Hera. Hera, goddess of marriage, is one of the 12 major gods/goddesses that make up the Greek pantheon. Zeus once slept with another of these major goddesses, Demeter - Hera’s sister.
Knowing this, you’re hopefully getting the sense that Zeus is a complete and utter jerk - and I totally agree with that. Sleeping with your wife’s sister is just not something that one should do! (Although technically, Zeus, Hera, and Demeter are all siblings...so yaaaay, incest?) It would be bad enough if Demeter was Zeus’ only conquest, but there are in fact many, many others. Seduction is the game of this god - and his seductions often happen in the most CREEPY ways possible.

(Warning - Looking up pictures of the myths talked about below is not for the faint of heart. Take care, lest you never look at a swan the same way again! No, seriously.)

For some reason, Zeus has the power to shapeshift. This power totally makes sense with his rule over the skies, right? Or, you know, not...Anyway, Zeus often uses his shapeshifting abilities in his efforts to “woo” a lady. Take Leda, for instance. She was a beautiful, married Spartan woman that Zeus desired. In order to get close to her, he disguised himself as a magnificent swan...and then lured her off to have sex.

(The least disturbing picture I could find.)

Some myths say that two of the children borne from this union hatched from an egg.

Then there’s Europa. Zeus was attracted to this lovely woman and devised a plan to make her his own. He turned himself into a beautiful bull and lured her to him. The bull knelt before Europa, and she climbed onto the back of the gentle creature - at which point the disguised god ran across the ocean and took her to a deserted island for Zeus to have his way with her.

As if incest and bestiality weren’t enough - Zeus had to add kidnapping to the list!

But wait, there’s more! Last up for this post is Danae. This maiden had been locked up due to a prophecy saying that her son (not yet conceived) would kill his grandfather. Zeus was so smitten with her that he entered her prison as a shower of gold...and somehow impregnated her.

Creepy, yes? Guess that prison wasn’t built to be god-proof!

Zeus’ dalliances did not just infuriate his wife; they often ended in tragedy for the children of his unions. (Admittedly, that tragedy was sometimes brought about by a vengeful Hera...) There are many examples of this, but lets look at the three we’ve already discussed.

One of the children of Zeus and Leda was Helen. Yes, that Helen. The Helen whose face launched a thousand ships, started a war that lasted for over ten years, and killed an untold number of Greeks and Trojans. Ironically, this was all because Helen, like her divine father, could not stay faithful to her spouse.

Our second example is Europa. Zeus seduced her as a bull - so it’s ironic that the child of this union should be Minos. Minos’ wife slept with a bull (who was not a god) and gave birth to the Minotaur, who Minos trapped inside a huge maze and fed human sacrifices to. This lasted until a hero came and slew the Minotaur.

Danae’s union with Zeus was the only one of the three we’ve talked about that did not end in disastrous consequences. Admittedly, her father was slain by her son, Perseus, but still. Perseus is actually one of the few Greek demigods who gets a happy ending to his story.

Now that we’ve talked about all of this, I have a question for you. What would have happened if Zeus had remained faithful to his wife all along? Would the Trojan War have happened if Helen had never been born? Would the Minotaur have ever come to exist? How many people would have stayed alive...if Zeus had just kept it in his pants?

You’re welcome to post below or email me with any thoughts you have on the matter - I’d love to hear them! Next post we’ll be talking about Hades, brother of Zeus and Lord of the Underworld.

Intro to Greek Mythology

If you’re from North America, you’re probably at least passingly familiar with Greek mythology. The influence Greek culture has had upon the world, but notably North America, is fascinating. We have been inspired by Greek architecture, sculpture, politics, drama...the list goes on. Perhaps it is not surprising, then, that the names of the Greek gods and demigods are familiar to us. I grew up watching the Ray Harryhausen movies with my dad; to this day, Jason and the Argonauts is one of my favorite movies. More recently, Clash of the Titans was remade with Liam Neeson as a glorious Zeus. 300 brought the Spartans of Greece to the big screen. Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson series introduced Greek mythology to a new generation. Troy showed part of the story of the Iliad.
Despite the saturation of our culture by Greek mythology, not everyone knows all of the pantheon. Beyond the pantheon lie the innumerable demigods, who are as important to the myths as the gods are. That having been said, lets take a look at some of the major players in the Greek myths.

First and most important is Zeus. Zeus is king of the gods. He rules over the skies and is responsible for lightning and thunder. Zeus is to blame for a ton of the demigods that are born, since he is incapable of staying faithful to his wife, Hera - who is, ironically, the goddess of marriage.

Also important is Hades, god of the dead. He is Zeus’ brother, and arguably is more important, since he rules over all those who have ever died. The Greeks rarely talked about Hades, since death was something they feared, but he is never depicted as evil. Hades had a job to do, and he got it done, however unpleasant the task was.

Greek mythology is interesting in that it has a female goddess of war - Athena. This is intriguing because Greek women were afforded very few rights, and certainly could not go off to battle - but apparently the same rules did not apply to this goddess. Athena shares the reign of war with the male god Ares, but each represents a different aspect of battle. Ares rules over ruthless, brutal war, whereas Athena represents intelligent, tactical warfare. She is also the goddess of wisdom, and one of the goddesses of virgins.

There are other members of the pantheon that we’ll talk about in future posts, but for now I’d like to focus on the demigods. Demigods are the children of a god and a mortal, and are the heroes of the Greek myths. They slay monsters, save damsels, and often face tragedy in their lives. They occupy almost as many of the myths as the gods do. The Greeks named a lot of their constellations after these demigods and their stories. If a demigod’s father is Zeus, a jealous Hera almost always tries to make their life a living hell.

Perhaps the most famous demigod is Achilles, for whom a part of our heel is named. The son of a minor sea goddess and a mortal, Achilles was the hero of the Iliad, a written account by Homer of the oral stories of the Trojan War. If you’ve seen the movie Troy, let me tell you that Brad Pitt is not nearly whiny enough for the role of Achilles. Seriously. The “hero” of the Iliad is more whiny than Luke in the first Star Wars! Whiny, emo Anakin Skywalker comes close, but still falls short of Achilles.

We’ll talk more about these characters and more in later posts. For now, please put questions or comments below, and feel free to email me! Next post I’ll be talking about Zeus, and his inability to not sleep with a pretty lady.

Fate: An Overarching Theme

Fate is an underlying theme throughout most of Norse mythology (yes, it is both overarching and underlying). Ragnarok is prophesized by Odin for ages before it happens. The Norns, whose name literally means “Fate”, spin the fate of the universe. Minor events in stories come to have huge consequences during Ragnarok.

There are two examples I can think of in modern pop culture that come close to how fate affected the Norse myths. The first is the book series The Dresden Files. Jim Butcher (the author) has done a masterful job of weaving plot threads together throughout the fifteen books currently in the series (there are another five planned.) A minor character in one book might become a huge villain six books later; a one-liner dropped early on in the series might foreshadow highly important events later in the series. This is what the Norse did when they wove their mythology; every little detail counts.

The second modern example is a season of a TV show. Take the second season of Arrow. A character shows up in the first couple of episodes, but seems unimportant. A minor bad guy who isn’t totally evil appears a couple of times. The main character gets a new love interest. Then, suddenly, the last episode comes upon you and BAM! you find out it’s all connected. The minor character tries to blow up the city, the somewhat villainous guy teams up with the heroes to stop her, the love interest turns out to have been working with the Big Bad all along...you needed all of the episodes before the finale to introduce the players, but it is only after the finale that you can look back and see how everything led up to the final event.

The same is true of Norse mythology. Many of the earlier myths set the stage for Ragnarok. We’ve talked in pervious posts about Hel and her banishment to Niflheim. This banishment made her queen of the dead - and during Ragnarok, she led an army of these dead against the gods. Without her banishment she would have had no army to give to Loki.

The story of the imprisonment of Hel’s brother, Fenrir, is another example. The gods tricked Fenrir by telling him he was so strong he could break any chains they put on him. Fenrir agreed to test this claim, provided that one of the gods, Tyr, put his hand in Fenrir’s mouth as collateral. If you read the post about Loki, you’ll remember that Fenrir is a giant wolf. Tyr bravely agreed, and the gods chained Fenrir with a magical set of links. When the wolf could not break free he bit off Tyr’s hand as revenge. During Ragnarok, Tyr is killed by Garm because he was weakened by the loss of his hand.

One last example is the death of the god Frey. Early on in the myths of Asgard, Frey traded his sword to be able to marry the woman he loved. With his sword he would have been able to defeat Surt, the fire giant, during Ragnarok - but without it he was crushed in battle, and Asgard fell.

All of these events led to the Doom of the gods, and all of these events were fated to happen. This shows that even the gods, infinitely more powerful than humans, are still subject to fate. Despite his foresight, Odin could do nothing to stop the events of Ragnarok. Despite all of his knowledge, he died as he had always known he would.

What, then, was the point of his foresight? If fate could not be changed, why warn others about Ragnarok? I don’t know, but it’s interesting to ponder. Was Odin’s knowledge of Ragnarok a tool used by Norse storytellers, designed to foreshadow coming events in a tale and keep their audience hooked? Or was it a cautionary tale to mankind? After all, if even the gods cannot fight fate, why should mankind bother to try?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, so please comment below or email me. For now I’m done with Norse mythology - next post I’ll start looking at the Greek myths. I’ll see you guys then!

Ragnarok: The Parts They Play

Most of the characters I’ll be mentioning in this post have already been introduced in my previous posts. And now that I’ve talked with you about all of these fabulous characters, let’s kill them off! Well, alright, not all of them. Just Loki, Odin, Thor, and most of the rest of the pantheon. Oh, and humanity, of course!

Ragnarok is said to first be experienced by the humans, because they experience three years during which the whole world is at war. After the war will come a Fimbul winter, which is about as long as a winter in Game of Thrones. The evil wolves Skoll and Hati catch and eat the Sun and Moon, both of which are gods. After this the stars fall from the sky, leaving total darkness.

The World Tree Yggdrasil soon begins to shake, causing massive earthquakes. These quakes set Loki free from his imprisonment, along with his wolf son, Fenrir, and Garm, the hound of Hel. Three massive roosters crow to alert the gods, the giants, and the dead that Ragnarok has come.

While the gods and the Einherjar, the valiant dead warriors who dwell in Valhalla, prepare for battle, Odin goes to consult Mimir. The Norns meet him there, their thread of life torn apart. No one knows what Mimir says to Odin, but he returns with a grim face and leads his army to war.

But who are they fighting, you might ask? Their foe is an army of the evil dead from Hel, led by Loki and his children, along with a creature named Surt, who is a fire god or fire giant depending on the text.

The two armies meet on the plains of Vigrid. Odin is quickly killed by Fenrir, who is then slain by one of Odin’s sons. Jormungand, who has broken free, is killed by Thor, who dies of the serpent’s venom. Loki and Heimdall, the watchman of the gods, kill each other. Tyr, a god who had lost one hand when Fenrir was being imprisoned, kills Garm but is in turn slain by him. Frey, a fertility god, fights Surt and is killed by the fire giant. With all of his foes defeated, Surt then sets the nine realms on fire, ultimately destroying them and himself.

So basically, the world ends in fire and in darkness - and not just our world, but all of the worlds. Super depressing, right?

Luckily for, well, everyone, there is a rebirth after all of this. The Sun had given birth to a daughter before her death, who takes her place as a new Sun. Thor’s two sons survive, as do other gods, including some of Odin’s brothers. From out of the ruins of Yggdrasil step a human man and woman, who were sheltered by the Tree. These survivors repopulate Asgard and Midgard. The forces of darkness had been slain during Ragnarok, so evil does not plague them now.

And that, my dear readers, is Ragnarok and its aftermath. Still depressing that just about everyone died, but at least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

My next post will wrap up our discussion of Norse mythology for now, and then we move on to more familiar territory - Greek mythology! You know the drill: questions or comments can go below or be emailed to me. I’ll see you guys at the next post!

Odin: All-Seeing, All-Knowing...Allfather

Odin is the god of a lot of different things, not all of which seem to go together. For example, he is a god of war, of the sky, of death...and of poetry. I guess all those other things would provide material for poems, right? Odin is considered the father of all gods (hence the name Allfather). His wife is named Frigg, and two of his sons are Thor and Balder, although there are others.

If you’ve seen pictures of Odin, or seen him in a certain movie or two, you’ve probably noticed that he wears an eyepatch. Sadly, as far as I know Odin is not a god of pirates. Nor was his eye lost in a glorious battle against the frost giants. Instead, Odin voluntarily gave his eye to a being named Mimir.

I talked about the wells that water Yggdrasil in my last post. If you remember, one of the wells was kept by a being named Mimir I promised to talk about in this post. Mimir was a god that was sent to an opposing army as part of a hostage exchange. He ended up getting his head cut off. The severed head was then sent back to Odin, who preserved the head, allowing it to speak. Anyone else having creepy flashbacks to the Governor and Woodbury? Yeesh.

Anyway, Mimir was a very wise god, and he imparted his wisdom to Odin whenever asked. This wasn’t enough for Odin, though, so he traded one of his eyes to Mimir in exchange for possessing the knowledge himself. Odin’s eye is somehow placed at the bottom of the well by Mimir (seriously, how does a body-less head do that? And why?), making me NEVER want to drink from it.

So now you know that Odin is not a pirate (sorry to crush your hopes and dreams.) He does, however, have some awesome animal companions (no, not a parrot. Sorry again.) We’ve previously discussed Sleipnir, Odin’s eight-legged horse whose mother was Loki. Odin also has two wolves named Geri and Freki.

Because of this, Norse warriors believed a wolf on the battlefield to be a good sign from Odin. He also had two raven companions named Hugin and Munin, who flew around the world gathering information for him. This is yet another instance where Marvel got it right. My favorite scene from the Avengers (which is saying a lot) is when Thor kidnaps Loki from the plane and is talking with him. At the start of their conversation, two ravens can be seen flying past. SO cool.

Odin can often be found wandering Midgard (i.e., Earth) in various myths. He always wears a cloak and wide-brimmed hat when he does so, and frequently offers his aid to mortal heroes.

In fact, Odin is often seen as a benefactor to humans. He welcomes slain heroes in his palace of Valhalla, where he feasts them until the day of Ragnarok; he provided knowledge of runes to mankind; it was because of him that mead which grants the gift of poetry was spilled on Midgard, allowing humans to become poets.

Odin was a wise and just king who was kind to his subjects and ruled well. Unfortunately, his reign was not to last, for the Doom of the gods was fast approaching. Next time we’ll be talking about Ragnarok, so come prepared for a depressing post. As always, leave your questions and comments below, or feel free to email me. Until next time!

The Norns: Spinners of Time

The Norns are some of the more interesting characters in Norse mythology, and their home is as fascinating as they are. I’ve talked before about Yggdrasil and the nine realms that lie within its boughs - but trees have more than just branches. They also have roots. Yggdrasil is said to have three roots, with one well to water it at each root. One well is kept by a wise being named Mimir that I’ll talk about when we discuss Odin. The second well lies in the Kingdom of Hel, and a dragon named Nithog constantly chews at the root by the well. Nithog frequently exchanges insults with an eagle that sits in the top branches of Yggdrasil, both of whom use a squirrel as their messenger.

The third well of Yggdrasil is called Urdarbrunn, and it is tended by the Norns. The waters of this well are sacred, used to preserve and protect the Tree from harm.

Now that you know about their home, lets talk about the Norns. Their name means “Fate”, and they are highly similar to characters from Greek, Roman, and Celtic mythology. While these characters are often represented by a Maiden, Mother, and Crone, the Norns are three sisters.

The oldest sister is named Urd, which means “that which has been”. Verdandi, the middle sister, means “that which is”, and Skuld, the youngest, means “that which will be”. Together they represent the Past, Present, and Future. Often said to be giants, some tales claim that time did not exist before the Norns began their task - spinning.

If you’re picturing the creepy ladies with the thread and scissors from Disney’s Hercules, you’re on the right track. Like the Greek Morai, which means “Fates”, the Norns spin a thread for the life of every living being. Sometimes they are depicted as weaving the threads of life, but more often they are simply spinners.

What makes the Norns so fascinating compared to their counterparts from other mythologies is whose thread they spin. Every living creature has a thread, including men, giants...and the gods. The gods are thus not immune to death, and will ultimately perish along with man.

Technically speaking, that makes the Norns more powerful than the gods. They are the ones who will ultimately cut the thread of a god’s life and end it. They are the ones who handle both time and fate, and thus hold the destiny of the universe in their hands.

Little bit creepy, right? Aren’t you glad the Norns are impartial and not prone to holding grudges? Otherwise, *snip snip* and you’re dead!

That’s all I’ve got about the Norns for now. We’ll talk a little bit more about them when I talk about the role of fate in Norse mythology, but in my next post I want to discuss Odin. About time, right? It’s not like he’s an important character or anything!

Anyhoo, feel free to post below or email me with questions or comments. If you want to know about the Allfather, stay tuned for next time!

Thor: Comic Relief

If you’ve heard much about Norse mythology before reading this, Thor is probably the name you’re most familiar with. After all, he’s strong, handsome, intelligent - everything the main character of Norse mythology should be...right?

Wrong, actually! Well, alright, you were right about the handsome part. But Thor’s strength actually comes from some gloves and a belt he has. As my father might say, Thor is not the brightest torch in the sconce. And outside of his own tales, Thor isn’t even the main character - Odin is!

Most of the stories that Thor appears in involve the setup of some outrageous event centering around Thor. Loki is often a part of this event, and Thor inevitably storms after him with a thundering temper - ok, sorry, puns are done for now. But it’s appropriate, since stories centering on Thor are generally comedic. It’s normally only in the stories in which Thor is presented as a secondary character that the god of thunder is shown to be serious and mature.

Given our dark topic of Hel last post, and with a post about Ragnarok approaching soon, I thought you guys deserved a more light-hearted topic. With that in mind, let’s take a look at a few of the more comical stories about Thor.

First of all, Thor has a chariot pulled by two billy goats. Yes. Goats. These goats are called Toothgnasher and Toothgrinder, and they haul his chariot into battle. I guess that’s one way to strike terror into the hearts of your enemies? Interestingly, Thor is not the only god to have a chariot pulled by strange animals. Freya, a goddess of love and of battle, has a chariot that is pulled by two giant cats.

Last post I talked a little about Jormungand, the giant serpent who was imprisoned after a prophecy of his role in Ragnarok. Jormungand makes an appearance in one of Thor’s silly stories, where the god of thunder goes fishing. Thor deliberately tries to fish up Jormungand in order to fight him, using the head of a steer as bait. Thor succeeds in baiting Jormungand and pulling him to the surface. Luckily for the world, Thor’s fishing companion cuts the line before the apocalyptic fight can ensue, sending Jormungand back to the depths.

Not silly enough for you? Don’t worry, I think this one will be. While there are many other stories, this is my favorite.

Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir, was used to defend Asgard’s borders against any giants that sought to attack the gods. One morning he woke up to discover it was missing. For once Loki was not to blame, and helped find the person responsible for the theft - Thrym, king of the frost giants. Thrym agreed to give Mjolnir back to Thor in exchange for marrying the goddess Freya. Freya refused to wed him, so the gods gathered in council to figure out what to do. One of the gods suggested sending Thor to Thrym...disguised as Freya in a wedding gown.

Somehow Thor was talked into this (and out of murdering the god who voiced the idea). He was garbed in a wedding dress and veil, and draped in jewelry. Loki was disguised as his bridesmaid. The duo then went to Thrym, fooled him into thinking Thor was Freya, and were given back Mjolnir...which Thor then used to slay every giant he could find.

Just in case you can’t quite visualize this, picture Chris Hemsworth, with a really bushy beard, wearing drag.

Assuming you’re still able to read through the laughter, I’m going to leave you with that. I hope you had a thundering good time (sorry, sorry)! Feel free to comment, email me, or petition Marvel to include Thor’s cross-dressing adventures in a future Avengers. Stay tuned! Next post I’ll be talking about the curious beings called the Norns.

Hel^2: A Person and a Place

In my last post I talked about Loki, and I mentioned that he had a daughter named Hel. As you probably figured out, Hel is not the most wonderful person - but to understand her, you first need a bit of backstory.

Loki actually had a total of six children. Two were born by his Asgardian wife, Sigyn, but they both end up dead. The important four children are Sleipnir, Jormungand, Fenrir, and Hel. Sleipnir is an eight-legged horse borne by Loki after he turned himself into an attractive mare to distract a horse (don’t ask.) The fastest of all horses, Sleipnir became the mount of Odin, king of the gods. My favorite part from the first Thor movie is when Odin comes to save Thor and his friends from the frost giants. If you look closely, the horse he’s on has eight legs! I love it when Marvel gets it right!

Loki’s other three children come from worse parentage (than a horse. Seriously.) They were borne by the ogress Angrboda, whose name translates to “bringer of distress”. Given that all three of her children play a huge role in Ragnarok, I would say she was aptly named!

The gods apparently agree with me on that point. Having received a prophecy saying that the three kids spell disaster, the gods lock them all away. Jormungand, a GIANT serpent, is forced to bite his own tail and is thrown into the ocean or river that surrounds the world. Fenrir, a less big but still giant wolf, is chained to a rock - which leaves Loki's final child, Hel.

Loki’s other two children by Angrboda each had a monstrous quality to them, and Hel is no different. Possessing the body of a woman, half of her is said to be beautiful, the other half dead. Depictions of her in artwork often show half her face as missing skin, or being full out skeletal. Odin’s punishment of her differs from that of her brothers in that she is banished to a portion of one of the realms we haven't discussed, Niflheim...and made its Queen. The area later becomes known as the Kingdom of Hel, or simply Hel.

There were two regions to the Norse afterlife. To counter the depressing-ness of Hel, which I’ll cover in a moment, was Valhalla. Valhalla was located in Asgard, and it translates to the “hall of the slain”. Warriors who were slain in battle were carried there by beautiful warrior women called Valkyries. These women would then don dresses and serve the men food and drink until Ragnarok. Rough life...er, death, right?

Hel was for those who did not die valiantly. Accounts list it as being the afterlife for those who die of sickness or of old age, and for those who are evil or oath-breakers. The Kingdom of Hel is said to be guarded by a fearsome hound named Garm, which presents an interesting parallel to the Greek Cerberus. A river within Hel is said to be full of not water, but swords, knives and daggers that the dead must wade through. Murderers, oath-breakers, adulterers, and people who talk in movie theaters are imprisoned in a building whose walls and roof are made of woven snakes who constantly drip poisonous venom....

You get the idea, right? Hel is not a fun place.

Interestingly enough, Hel the person is not depicted as outright evil. Last post I talked about how she offered to bring Balder back to life if everything wept for him, rather than refusing to offer even that slim chance. However, regardless of whether Hel is an evil person, she and her kingdom will play an important part in Ragnarok.

There you have a brief introduction to Hel!...and to Hel. Comments? Questions? Feel free to post below, or to email me! Want to know more? I’ve got some great books listed on my first post. Stay tuned for more stories from Norse mythology, including a look at Thor!

Loki: Mischief and Mayhem

Everyone loves Tom Hiddleston’s portrayal of Loki, right? I don’t blame you. His Loki is attractive, conflicted, and he’s got that bad boy vibe going that you just can’t help but root for. He killed my favorite character and I still like him, which takes some serious charm. Unfortunately, Norse mythology’s Loki is quite different from Marvel’s version.

As I mentioned in my Intro to Norse Mythology, Loki is blood brothers with Odin. This was a process that involved two people cutting their wrists and pressing them together, mingling their blood while swearing an oath (Do not try this at home!). Due to this bond, Odin let Loki get away with, quite literally, murder.

Loki is sometimes portrayed as just a mischief maker rather than anything more sinister. One such story involved him shaving the head of Thor’s wife, Sif, while she was asleep. Thor quickly found him out and made him pay, taking him on an adventure that first got Thor his hammer, Mjolnir, while Loki got his lips stitched shut by an angry dwarf. Another tale involves Loki being kidnapped by giants and forced to lead Thor into a trap. The thunder god escaped said trap, but that didn’t make him any less angry with Loki. (For some reason, Thor seems to be angry with Loki a LOT. But surely that isn’t the fault of poor Loki, right? Must just be Thor’s temper getting the better of him!)

Both of those adventures show Loki in a mischievous light, but he could be downright evil. Perhaps the best example of this involves the death of Balder. This god, often called Balder the Good, was the son of Odin and was well loved by all the gods. It came about that he and Odin realized Balder’s life was in danger. His mother, Frigg, was called the Mother of All. She made every plant, stone, metal, and animal promise that they would not harm Balder - every plant but one. She considered mistletoe too weak to cause Balder any damage and so overlooked it.

Unfortunately, Loki found out about this.

Because Balder could not be harmed, his brothers had taken to attacking him with various weapons as part of a game. Loki tricked one of the gods into throwing a spear tipped with mistletoe at the kind god, which killed Balder. The gods were horrified and immediately sent a rider to the underworld to ask for Balder to be returned to life. The queen of Hel agreed, provided every living thing wept for Balder. Everything cried, save for an old hag that was Loki in disguise.

Unfortunately for him, the gods saw through his disguise. It was at this point that they realized Loki had been responsible for the death of Balder, and so they locked him away. The god of mischief was to remain imprisoned until Ragnarok set him free.

That’s the cliff notes on Loki. Questions or comments? Feel free to post below or email me! Stay tuned, next time I’ll be talking about Hel, the Queen of Hel - who is actually Loki’s daughter.  Have a great Halloween, guys!

Intro to Norse Mythology

Norse mythology tends to be less well known than Greek and Roman mythologies, at least in the United States. While most people are undoubtedly familiar with the names of Thor and Loki, they tend to know very little about the other members of the Norse pantheon. Stories from Norse mythology seem to not be known by the general populace. Since this is the case, let me give you a basic rundown of some of the characters and themes.

As much as I love Marvel’s portrayal of Loki and Thor, they seriously botched the backstories of these gods. For starters, Loki is the son of a giant named Laufey...but Laufey is a woman. Perhaps more importantly, Loki and Thor are not actually brothers.  Loki isn't even his adopted brother.  They aren’t related at all!  Loki is instead the blood brother of Odin, which involves an oath of brotherhood rather than actually sharing a parent.

Odin is the king of the gods, and is sometimes referred to as the Allfather. It is because of Loki’s relationship with him that Loki gets away with so much mischief. Both a god of war and a god of wisdom (Norse mythology tends to have multiple gods of the same thing), Odin is respected by the other gods and rules over them in Asgard.

Asgard is the realm of the gods, and here’s where things get really interesting. In Norse mythology there are nine realms. For this introduction we're only going to cover three of them, with others to come in later posts.  There's Asgard, the home of most of the gods; Midgard, which is Earth; and Jotunheim, home of the giants, who are called Jotun. Each realm rests in the bough of a giant ash tree called Yggdrasil, also commonly referred to as the World Tree.

The reason Jotunheim is important is because of the part it plays in the Norse version of the Apocalypse. This event is called Ragnarok, which translates to “doom of the gods”. During Ragnarok, Loki allies with the giants, or Jotun, and attacks the gods. Just about everyone dies in this event, including most of the main players in the pantheon. Oh, and most of mankind is wiped out too. Don’t worry, though - a few gods survive, along with two humans, who gradually repopulate the realms.

Norse mythology is fascinating to me for several reasons. The first is how different it is from most other mythologies. There are general similarities, sure, but the mythologies people are generally more familiar with all originated in the same parts of the world. The western civilizations that created the Greek, Egyptian, Roman, and Mesopotamian pantheons were all influenced by similar things and had somewhat similar cultures. The Norse were highly different from those western cultures, making their rich mythology also very different.

The second reason Norse mythology interests me is Ragnarok. According to the myths, Odin possessed the gift of foresight, so he knew about and warned of Ragnarok for a very long time. The gods lived their lives knowing that they were going to die - something almost unheard of in other mythologies, where gods were immortal and could not be killed.

That is a very brief rundown of Norse mythology and some of the themes I’ll be talking about. Stay tuned while I delve into specific characters and stories. Want to learn more? Below are two books that provide some basic information that’s good for getting started - check for them at your local library, or a college library near you if you have access. Feel free to post below with questions or comments, or to email them to me. See you guys next post!

Norse Mythology A to Z by Kathleen N. Daly

Gods & Heroes from Viking Mythology by Brian Branston