Maui and the Vagina of Death

Alright guys.  I try very hard to keep my posts kid friendly - which can be difficult, considering how sex and violence filled most mythologies are.  For this post...well, there really wasn't any way to make it PG.  You have been warned!

My final post about Maui is also the story of the demigod's death.  In the past several weeks, we've talked about a lot of the hero's exploits.  He raised the islands from beneath the sea; he stole fire for mankind; he tamed the sun.  All of these are pretty impressive accomplishments.

Unfortunately, Maui let his achievements go to his head.  He became very proud of all that he had done, and began to think himself invincible.

Now, at this point in time, things were a little different than they are now.  Mankind was mortal, but no one had died yet.  The goddess of the underworld, Hine-nui-te-pō, existed - but she hadn't yet taken anyone from the realm of the living.

When Maui heard of Hine-nui-te-pō's existence, he took it as a challenge.  For a hero so great as he, one who had accomplished so much already...well, defeating death ought to be easy, right?

Wrong.

Maui set out and found the place where Hine-nui-te-pō made her home.  He knew exactly what he had to do.  The ritual was...interesting, to say the least.

When a person enters this world, they exit their mothers womb.  Life therefore comes out of the vagina, right?  Well, in order to defeat death, Maui needed to reverse that ceremony.  He needed to climb into Hine-nui-te-pō's vagina, through her womb, and out of her mouth.  If he could do this, death would be defeated, and everyone would be immortal.

I'm not joking.  That was his plan.

Now, there were a couple of problems right off of the bat.  First off (in my mind, at least)...how was he even going to fit?  Second, was she just going to lay there and let him try this?  And lastly...did I mention that her vagina was lined with sharp, jagged obsidian teeth?

Yeah, this sounds like a great idea!

Maui arrived at Hine-nui-te-pō's lair and found the goddess fast asleep.  Well, that made life easier!  He wouldn't have to worry about sneaking up on her.  All he had to do was to make sure she didn't wake up.

In some versions of the story, Maui was accompanied by his brothers.  In others, there were birds sitting on a nearby tree.  Whichever it was, the demigod explained his plan to them.  He then warned the spectators that, whatever happened, they must not laugh.  If they laughed, Hine-nui-te-pō would awaken, and Maui would be killed.

The brothers/birds agreed.  Maui stripped and approached the goddess.

(For those of you who are curious and don't mind a NSFW image, you can find one here.)

At first everything seemed to be going well.  First Maui shoved his head inside Hine-nui-te-pō (who somehow remained asleep throughout this).  Next came his arms, then his shoulders.  At last he had made it halfway in!

Unfortunately, the spectacle proved to be too much for the brothers/birds.  They had been swallowing their laughter for as long as they could, but they could hold it in no longer.  One of them let out a loud chortle.

Immediately Hine-nui-te-pō awoke.  Her muscles clenched and her thighs slammed together.  The obsidian teeth of her vagina cut Maui in half.

And so it was that Maui's adventures ended.  He was the first being to die, and with his demise, death entered the world and from there on out would claim mortals.  To add insult to injury...the mighty hero was slain by a vagina.

I hope you guys enjoyed the story, and this look into Polynesian mythology!  Maui is a hilarious character.  What did you think of him?

See you next week!

Maui and the Stealing of Fire

Hello all!  How's your week going?  For those of you about to start finals, I wish you the best of luck.  If you're swamped with homework, hang in there - the end of the semester is in sight!

(On a non-mythological note...Star Wars.  Less than two weeks.  AAAHHHH!)

I've got two stories left that I want to tell about Maui.  Next week's will be one of the more interesting posts I've done.  For this week, however, I want to talk about fire.  There's a lot of variations on the story of how Maui stole fire, so I'll do a post about one story and then link you to another.

Having already raised the Polynesian islands and tamed the sun, one might think that Maui had done enough for humanity.  But no!  The hero was not yet done.  He wanted to be of more help to mankind.  So Maui decided that he was going to set out to steal fire, so that humans could warm themselves by its flames, cook their food, and have light even at night.

(Sound familiar?  The Greek Titan Prometheus stole fire and distributed it to mankind.)

Maui went to visit Mahuika, the goddess of fire.  He asked her to send some fire with him so that he could light the villages of man.  Mahuika obligingly plucked out one of her fingernails - which was an ember - and gave it to Maui.

Remember that Maui is a trickster?  He didn't just take the fire back to humans and call his trip a success.  No, he had to figure out some way to trick Mahuika.  So Maui left the cave she called home, and, as soon as he was out of sight, extinguished the nail she had given him.  The demigod then reentered Mahuika's home and asked for more fire, since the last one had gone out.

Mahuika suspected nothing, and gave him another of her fingernails.  This continued until she eventually had only one left.  By now the goddess knew that she was being pranked, and she wasn't happy.  She threw the last fingernail at Maui, but it caught on some dried wood and created a massive flame.

The demigod was able to escape, but Maui had learned the secret of fire.  He returned to mankind and was able to teach them how to create flames of their own using dried wood.

That's the story I learned for how Maui found fire.  If you want to read another, here's a link!  In it, Maui is even more of a trickster - mankind already had fire, but he wanted to know where the flames came from, so he extinguished all of them to find out.

Interestingly enough, a couple of the Polynesian tribes in New Zealand have a variant on this story where Mahuika is actually Mahu-ika, and is a male giant.  In their stories Maui wrestles the giant and eventually breaks his neck, then beheads him to take a spark of flame (which sets the world on fire, endangering everyone until the gods step in to save the day).

I find the way Mahuika's home is described fascinating, because it sounds to me like she lives inside a mountain.  Though I've only ever heard her called the goddess of fires, I wonder if she's associated with volcanoes as well.  The small sparks of flame (her fingernails) culminating in a huge woodland fire sound like a volcano spitting lava.

What do you guys think?

I'll be back next week with my final (and hilarious!) story about Maui.  See you then!

Maui and the Taming of the Sun

Hello all! Welcome back to my series of posts about the Polynesian hero Maui!
I hope that my American readers had a lovely Thanksgiving week.  Did anyone get a chance to go and see Moana?  I still haven't, but I've heard some really great things about it from my friends!  I'm looking forward to checking it out (hopefully) over winter break.

Alright, on to this week's story!

Many Polynesian cultures have stories about Maui beating up the sun. That is the tale we're going to examine today. It helps to demonstrate that Maui is a compassionate demigod, even if the ways he shows that compassion are a little...violent.
 

Long ago there was a time when the days were exceptionally short. The sun moved quickly across the sky, and daylight fled before daytime tasks could be completed.
 

This issue came to Maui's attention. His mother complained that there was not enough time for her to dry her kapa (a type of fabric made out of bark). Other mortal women in the villages raised the same complaints. Upon hearing of their troubles, Maui determined to make the sun move more slowly so that the women would have more time to complete their tasks.
 

There are several variations on how he accomplished this task. In some versions of the story, Maui creates a lasso of sorts out of a female relative's hair. In others, it is his own hair that he uses to catch the sun and drag it towards him.

 

 

 

With the sun ensnared, Maui proceeds to beat it into submission. Several cultures say that he uses the magical jawbone of his grandmother to accomplish this task – how's that for a mental picture? (One version of the story I read even said that he starved his grandmother to death and took her jawbone for his weapon – but that was only one version of the story, so I'd take it with a grain of salt. None of the others mention him murdering his ancestress.)

 

The weakened sun is completely intimidated, and more than willing to give in to Maui's demands. Because of the demigod's actions, the sun begins to travel more slowly across the sky. Days are longer, and the women have the time they need to complete their chores.
 

What do you guys think? Maui was so nice and helpful for his mama!

(This picture had a bit more of a Greco-Roman feel to the armor, but I really love the concept and artwork.)

 

So the good news is that I have successfully completed NaNoWriMo!  That means that I'm no longer trying to cram 50,000 words into this month.  I'm still swamped with papers and finals for school, but I've got more time to devote to posts now.  That's very good news, because today's post is the last I had pre-written!

I'll be back next week with another post about Maui!  See you guys then.

Maui and the Raising of the Islands

(It was so tempting to name this one “Go Fish With a Demigod!”)

Howdy all! I hope you had a lovely week. I'm back today with a story about Maui, a Polynesian demigod whose actions literally shaped the lands the Polynesians live upon – at least according to their stories!

Shall we begin?

The Maori, Hawaiians, and the Te Arawa of New Zealand are a few of the cultures who have stories about their homeland being raised from the depths of the ocean by Maui. It must have taken several fishing trips to raise all of those islands!

The stories usually say that two of Maui's brothers were going on a fishing expedition. The demigod asked to join them, and tagged along in their boat. After a day without catching anything, the brothers began to nod off. Before they fell asleep, Maui asked them to not make any noises, as they might startle his catch.

In some versions of the tale, Maui used his own blood as bait. In others, the fishing hook he used was the enchanted jawbone of his grandmother ('cause that's not disturbing at all!).

Whatever he used, Maui was ultimately successful. His line grew taut with the weight of his catch. He began to haul upon the rope.

In some versions, Maui's brothers woke up and began to row backwards at his command, helping him drag up his catch. Unfortunately, upon seeing that Maui was hauling up not a fish, but a land mass, the brothers broke their silence. Despite Maui's warnings, they exclaimed their shock.

Whatever spell Maui had cast was broken. The land fell off of his hook, only partially out of the water. The Polynesians of New Zealand use this to explain why their islands are so lopsided compared to the rest of the landmass. I've heard Hawaiian stories claim that the multiple islands are because the land fell off of Maui's hook one piece at a time.

In each story, Maui was only partially successful. He had raised land from the depths of the ocean...but not as much as he wanted.

Thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoyed the post.  Moana comes out this week - if you go see it, please let me know how it is!  I'm wondering how many mythology references will be in it.

Have a good week, and happy early Thanksgiving to all of my American readers! I'll be back next week with the tale of how Maui beat up the sun. See you then!

Maui the Shapeshifting Wonder

Hello all!  I'm back with another Polynesian mythology post!

If you've seen the previews for Disney's Moana, you may have seen Maui transforming into a bird. It looks awesome and it makes for a really cool character concept – but it's also accurate to the myths! Let's take a look.

Our story begins with the birth of Maui. He was born prematurely, and did not survive the birth. The baby Maui was wrapped in locks of his mother's hair, and thrown into the ocean.

 

 

His mother's prayers on his behalf drew the attention of the gods, who rescued Maui and restored him to life by their fire.

When he was a young boy Maui decided that he wanted to return to his birth family. His mind made up, the young demigod set out to find his mother.

There's two variations of the story that I know of (though I'm sure there are more!).

In one tale, Maui returns home and finds his brothers there. They are wary of the newcomer, not knowing that he is their brother. Maui eventually wins their favor by shapeshifting himself into several kinds of birds.

 

 

Impressed by this, the boys become friends.

One night Maui is at a party with his brothers. When the event ends, his mother has the boys line up so that she can count them all before taking them home. To her surprise, she finds an extra child with them – Maui! At first she ignores his claims that he is her son, but when he tells her the story of his birth, she knows that Maui is her lost child. At once the mother accepts him into her home.

The second version of the story is much the same as the first. In it, Maui wins the favor of his brothers – though without shapeshifting. He also attends the party and reunites with his mother in the same fashion. After that the story becomes rather different than the first.

Maui returns home with his family and sleeps in their house. He discovers that his mother disappears each morning, and none of his brothers know where she goes. Determined to find out, Maui blocks the light from entering the house. Because the sun does not enter the house the next morning, his mother oversleeps. When she wakes up and realizes that she is late, she rushes from the house, not taking care to cover her tracks.

The curious Maui shapeshifts into a bird – shocking and delighting his brothers – and follows her. His mother unknowingly leads him to a garden, where he finds her working alongside a man: his father! Maui perches in a tree above the man's head and drops berries onto him until his father takes note. Only then does Maui shapeshift back into his human form. His mother explains who he is, and so Maui meets his father for the first time.

While both stories are different, they show Maui shapeshifting at a very young age.

Kind of a cool power to have, right? I'm very much looking forward to seeing Maui shapeshifting in Disney animation!

 

See you next week!

Intro to Polynesian Mythology

Hey guys! I hope you're all doing well!  This past weekend was Tucson Comic Con, so I am exhausted from vending and desperately trying to catch up on homework.  Still, I had a blast!  Thanks to everyone who stopped by to see me.

For the next several weeks I'm going to be doing a series of posts about Polynesian mythology. Besides the fact that the mythology is gorgeous, there is a reason for this: Disney's upcoming movie, Moana, draws heavily from Polynesian myths. It's set to release on November 23, and I thought it would be neat to give my readers an introduction to some of the stories their film might draw upon.

 

So, first things first: What do I mean when I say Polynesian mythology?

The phrase “Polynesian” covers a wide range of cultures, from the Samoans, to Hawaiians, to groups living in New Zealand and Australia. Polynesian culture is centered around a group of islands in the Pacific. Many of the cultures traveled by boat, allowing them to spread to other bodies of land – which is how the culture arrived in New Zealand and Australia.

Because there are so many cultures under the name Polynesian, their mythology varies drastically at times. Their deities can have completely different names, but have the same stories – or have different stories, but the same names across cultures. Each group has myths that are unique to them; each also has stories that one can see tie into stories from other groups.

One character appears in all of the cultures I have looked into: Maui.

 

Maui is a trickster – and we've seen several of those across mythologies! Unlike the Norse Loki and the Japanese Susano, Maui is not antagonistic to mortals. He can be boastful and reckless, but he cares for humans and strives to help them. In so doing, he has more in common with the Greek trickster god, Hermes. Interestingly enough, Maui is not a full deity; he's only a demigod.

Maui is set to be one of the main characters in Moana, voiced by Dwayne Johnson. (I'm super excited for this casting for two reasons. 1: The Rock is in a Disney movie? I get to hear him sing?! Heck yes!! 2: Johnson actually has Samoan ancestry, so he's portraying a character from the stories of his ancestors. I love that!)

 

Because of this, I've decided to spend the next several weeks doing posts about the adventures of Maui. At times he is triumphant, his actions heroic. Other times his stories seem more like those of a braggart. And though he tries his hardest to save mankind, failure awaits him in the end.

(By the way – one of the islands of Hawai'i is named Maui. If you want to look up more stories about the demigod, make sure and specify!  Otherwise you'll end up looking at pictures of islands.)

 

I'm really looking forward to this, guys! I'll see you next week.