Snow White and Rose Red

Hey guys!

Today's fairy tale is the story of Snow White and Rose Red. It's worth noting that it has absolutely nothing in common with Snow White other than a character sharing her name. If you'd like to read the Grimm Brothers' version of the story, you can find it here.

Once upon a time there was an old woman who lived with her two daughters in a small cabin in the woods. Outside of the cottage there stood two rose trees, one of which bloomed white, the other red. The girls were named after these trees and were called Snow White and Rose Red. They were good daughters, honest, kind, and innocent. (Their innocence is a recurring theme throughout the original fairy tale; some examples include an angel coming to watch over such good children in their sleep, and a lot of symbolism with lambs and doves.)

The two girls went everywhere together, and were always seen hand-in-hand. They swore to never be parted, and that they would share everything. One thing they shared was the keeping of their home. During the summer Rose Red tended to the cottage and helped take care of their mother; during the winter it was Snow White's job.

One winter the girls and their mother had boarded the door and sat reading around the fireplace, for there was a fierce snow storm outside. There came a great pounding at the door, and the mother had the girls open it, thinking it must be a traveler lost in the storm. The girls were horrified to find a giant black bear standing at the door instead! But he spoke kindly to them as they hid, and their mother invited him into their home to grow warm. The girls were reassured, and soon began to brush the snow off of the bear's coat, and to play with him.

He spent the night by their fire, and left in the morning when the storm had died away.  The bear soon became a regular fixture in their little home, for he returned each night. They were all quite fond of one another.

When winter fled and summer began, the bear announced that he must leave the family. During the winter he was able to roam freely, for dwarves hibernated below ground in the cold. However, now that the earth was warming up he needed to go stand guard over his treasure – for dwarves were both greedy and cunning, and would try to steal it. The family watched him go sadly.

Not long after, Snow White and Rose Red were wandering together in the forest. They heard a great struggle, and soon came across a little man with a beard down to his waist. The beard had become stuck in a tree. They tried and tried to help him pull it free, but the beard was quite stuck. Eventually Snow White pulled a pair of scissors from her bag and cut his beard, freeing the dwarf.

Instead of being grateful, he began to curse the two girls for their foolishness. They had cut his beard! His beautiful, beautiful beard!

He hefted a huge sack of treasure over his shoulder and disappeared into the forest, grumbling all the way.

Over the next several days the girls ran into the dwarf several times, each time caught in some dire predicament. Once his beard had grown tangled with his fishing line, and a fish he had hooked was dragging him into the river.

Another time, a giant bird had seized the dwarf by the coat and was trying to carry him away. Each time Snow White and Rose Red saved the dwarf, and each time he railed against them and strode off with a bag of treasure, not even bothering to thank them.

On their way home from town one day, the girls again came across the dwarf. This time he was not in any danger – instead, he had spread his treasure out over the ground so that it sparkled in the sun. They stood and stared in awe, for it was quite beautiful. The dwarf noticed them and immediately grew angry with their presence. He was berating them when suddenly a growling sound filled the area.

The dwarf turned white with fear, for behind him stood an enormous black bear. He tried to weasel his way out of danger, insisting that a small, stringy man such as he would make a poor snack. The bear really shouldn't eat him – why, especially since there were two tasty morsels standing right over there!

But his attempts to convince the bear to eat Snow White and Rose Red instead of the dwarf only served to anger the bear. It stretched out one massive paw and clipped the dwarf's head. He fell to the ground, dead.

Snow White and Rose Red had tried to run, but the voice of the bear made them stop. They recognized it as belonging to their winter house companion. However, when they turned around they found a man standing where the bear had been! He was richly dressed and wore a crown. The man explained that he was a prince, and that the dwarf had cursed him to become a bear. Now that the dwarf was dead, the curse was broken.

The prince married Snow White. True to their promise to never be parted, and to always share everything, Rose Red married the brother of the bear/prince.

Their mother moved to the castle with them, and brought the two rose trees with her. They continued to bloom every year, on with white blossoms, and the other with red.
 

I hope you guys enjoyed the story! The prince and his curse always make me think of East of the Sun, West of the Moon. What did you guys think?
 

I'll see you next week with a post about the Lunar New Year, and after that I'll start my series on Chinese Mythology (which I've been having a blast researching, by the way!). Take care!
 

Snow White

Hey guys!  Before we get to today's story, let me give you a quick rundown of my tentative schedule for the next several weeks

As I mentioned in my previous post, January 28th is the Chinese New Year.  As such, I'm planning on beginning a series of posts about Chinese mythology, starting on the 23rd.  Both this week and next will be fairy tale fillers to tide us over until that series begins.  (I'll admit, this is in part because I'm rewatching Once Upon a Time and am therefore in a fairy tale mood!)

With that said, let's begin!

I had thought that I had done a post about Snow White, but I was mistaken!  I feel a little silly, having skipped over such an iconic fairy tale.  Let's remedy that, shall we?

The story of Snow White is a little bit (okay, a lot) darker than the Disney version.  The Queen is considerably more evil, and it's made all the more disturbing by the fact that Snow White is very young indeed in the stories.  Did you know that Disney made Snow White fourteen?  Having a fourteen year old fleeing attempted murder by her jealous, vain stepmother is really just a creepy story.

Once upon a time, there was a king and queen who were happily married.  During one winter's day the queen was sitting by an open window, sewing.  She pricked her finger on the needle, and three drops of crimson blood fell to the ground below.  As she looked on them, the queen wished with all of her heart for a daughter with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as dark as ebony.  The queen's wish eventually came true, for she had a daughter who looked exactly as she had wished - but the birth was difficult, and the queen died not long after.

Years passed, and eventually the king remarried.  His new wife was most beautiful, but also exceptionally vain.  She had a magic mirror, and she questioned it daily as to who was the most beautiful in the land.  The mirror always responded that the queen was, and so she was pleased.

Yet as the years passed and Snow White grew up, she also grew more beautiful.  One day the queen asked the mirror who the fairest in the land was, and he responded that it was Snow White, and not the queen.  The queen was furious!  She flew into a rage, and when she had finally calmed down, she did the logical thing...she plotted Snow White's murder.

(Okay, so maybe that isn't the logical course of action.)

The queen ordered the huntsman to take Snow White into the woods and kill her.  He complied with the first part, but was so taken by Snow White's beauty that he found himself unable to murder the girl.  Instead he warned her of her stepmother's plot to kill her.  The huntsman told Snow White to run as far as she could.  Hoping to deceive the queen, he killed an animal and brought her back its heart, lying and saying that the organ had belonged to Snow.  The queen fell for his deception and was pleased.

Snow White found sanctuary in a tiny cottage in the woods.  There were seven plates of food laid out on the table, and, being hungry, she ate from them.  Tired, the girl then wandered into the bedroom, where seven tiny beds were laid out.  She tried them out until she at last found one which was comfortable, and then she lay down to sleep.

When the owners of the house returned, they found everything moved from where it had been when the left.  The seven dwarves began to speak, asking who had eaten their food, and who had been in their beds.  Then the dwarf in whose bed Snow White was sleeping called them over to look - there was a girl in his bed!

The dwarves awoke Snow White, who told them her story.  They were compassionate fellows, and quite moved by her story.  They offered the girl sanctuary in their home, but warned her that whenever they were gone, she was not to open the door for anyone.

The morning after Snow White's "murder", the queen asked the mirror her customary question.  "Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who's the fairest in the land?"  To her wrath, the mirror responded that it was Snow White who was the fairest of them all - meaning that the girl yet lived!  Realizing that the huntsman had betrayed her, the queen decided to take matters into her own hands.

(This is where the story gets really interesting.  Most versions of it leave out the first two murder attempts, sticking instead to the poisoned apple.  But no, the apple was the queen's third attempt at killing Snow White!)

First the queen disguised herself as a peddler of corsets and ribbons.  The dwarves were away for work when she arrived at the cottage, and Snow White foolishly let herself be lured outside to look at the pretty lacy things the queen carried.  Now, Snow had fled the castle in a bit of a hurry - what with the whole running away from murder thing and all - and so she wasn't properly laced into a corset.  The "old woman" pretended to be horrified at the lack of propriety, and offered Snow White a lovely ribbon for free, and even to lace her up!  How kind of her.

But it was not kindness at all, for no sooner had Snow White agreed than the queen laced her so tightly that she could not breathe.  The queen ran away laughing as Snow lay collapsed on the ground, believing the girl to be dead.  Luckily, the dwarves arrived home soon after and cut the laces, revealing that Snow White had simply been in a dead faint.

(I couldn't help it, this scene always makes me think of Pirates of the Caribbean!)

 

The next morning, the queen was again enraged to hear the mirror respond that it was Snow White who was the fairest in the land.  She again disguised herself and set out for the cottage.  The dwarves had all left for work, but not before warning Snow White (again) to not open the door for anyone.

 

Snow White isn't the brightest apple on the tree.

 

Along came an old peddler, this time a woman selling hair combs.  Again she was able to convince Snow White to exit the cottage, and again she offered the princess a gift - a small hair comb.  Snow White was enamored of the comb, and agreed to the let the woman comb her hair with it.  But - surprise, surprise! - the woman was actually the queen, and the comb was poisoned!  No sooner had its tines touched Snow White's hair than the girl fell to the ground as though dead.  The queen fled, cackling with her success.

 

Shortly thereafter the dwarves arrived home.  Finding Snow White on the ground, they quickly removed the comb from her hair.  As soon as it had been taken away, the girl awoke.

 

Rinse and repeat - the queen wakes up, the mirror tells her Snow White is still the fairest of them all.  The dwarves leave for work, telling Snow to not, under any circumstances, open the door for anyone! (You'd think she'd listen by now, right?)

 

But this time...this time the queen didn't hold back.  She turned to dark magic, and created the perfect weapon - an apple.

 

Now, this time Snow White was a little more wary when a strange woman selling things arrived at her door.  She at first resisted.  But the queen was cunning, and had created the apple so that one side was white, another red.  The white side was harmless to eat, but the red was poisoned.  She offered to split the apple with Snow White, to prove that it was safe.  The girl relented when she saw the old woman bite into the white side of the apple.  She left the cottage, took the red half, and took one bite -

 

- at which point she promptly fell to the ground, dead.

 

This time the queen's glee knew no bounds, for she knew she had won.

 

When the dwarves came home, I'll imagine they weren't too surprised to find Snow lying on the ground outside their cottage.  They tried everything in their power to wake her up, but nothing worked.  At last, they were forced to realize that the sweet young girl was dead.  They buried her in a glass coffin.

 

Some time later, a prince happened to be passing through the forest.  He came across the glass coffin, and the girl he saw inside was so beautiful that he instantly fell in love with her.  He asked the dwarves if he could take the coffin with him and return it to his kingdom.  It took some convincing, but at last the dwarves relented and agreed.

 

Modern adaptations have probably left people expecting a kiss at this point - but there was none.  Instead, it was the jarring of the coffin being pulled to the horse which saved Snow White.  The movement made the piece of apple which had been wedged in her throat fly loose, and she found that she could breathe again.  The dwarves were delighted to find the girl alive - and the prince loved her just as much awake as he had asleep.  He asked her to marry him, and she agreed.

 

The next day, the queen asked her mirror her usual question.  She was horrified when it said that there was one fairer still than she - a new queen.  Snow White's stepmother had been given an invitation to a royal wedding, but she had no idea who the bride was.  Determined to see who it was who was more beautiful than she, the queen decided to attend the wedding.

 

When she arrived, she was stupefied to find that the bride was Snow White.  The queen was frozen in place, too horrified to move.  However, the prince was not - and he knew exactly what the queen had done to his beloved.  A pair of iron boots had been warming next to the fire for just this purpose.  They were brought over with a pair of tongs, and the searing-hot shoes were latched onto the evil queen's feet.

She was then forced to dance in them until she dropped dead...And that is how the story ends.

 

I hope you guys enjoyed Snow White! I've always been curious as to what happened to Snow's father.  Did the queen murder him to gain power?  Or was he alive, and just sitting back in his throne while his daughter fled from his murderous new wife?  I'm not sure which is worse.

 

I'll see you next week!

New Year and Resolutions (Including a book announcement!)

Hey guys!  Welcome to my first post of 2017!

Most cultures around the world celebrate some form of new year festival.  These celebrations have been around for thousands of years.  Originally it wasn't so much the coming of a new year that was celebrated, but the changing of the seasons.  I was introduced to this concept thanks to the Redwall series, where events are said to have happened "four summers ago", or a cask is said to have aged "for three falls".  A more recent example can be found in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, where characters are asked how many winters they have lived to see.

As human societies became more intellectual, calendars were invented.  The most widely used nowadays is the Gregorian calendar, which marks the new year as beginning on January 1st.  However, not every country and group uses this calendar; for instance, the Chinese New Year is celebrated on a lunar cycle, meaning that it falls on January 28th this year.  Rosh Hashanah, a Jewish New Year festival, begins on September 20th.  There are many other variations throughout the world, falling on dates all over the calendar.

When many Americans think of the new year, resolutions are often associated with it.  Interestingly enough, New Year's resolutions are not practiced all over the world.  Most countries have their own unique spin on New Year's practices; for instance, the Japanese have small shrines called kadomatsu which act as a sort of temporary housing for the kami during the transition to the new year.

It is hoped that the family whose kadomatsu the kami stay in will be blessed by the grateful spirits.  I haven't been able to look into why Americans seem so fixated on making resolutions for the new year, but it is certainly a tradition we have embraced.

With that having been said, I thought I'd make my resolutions for 2017 here.

It is my goal to:
1. Finish Lips as Red as Blood, my current work in progress.
2. Get ahead on blog posts before the semester begins.
3. Publish Sleeping Love, a book I wrote in 2016 as a Christmas present for my mom.

(She's already read it, and it met with her approval!)

And since this is the official announcement of Sleeping Love, let me give you guys a sneak peek at what the story is about!  It's Sleeping Beauty...with a twist or two thrown in!

Justin's kiss may have awoken Rosalie, but it left the rest of her kingdom asleep.  Worse still, Rosalie has no memory of her life - she only knows her name because of Elliot, Justin's gruff and taciturn guard!
Seeing no other options, Rosalie agrees to let Justin take her home and wed her...but at night, she dreams of playing with a boy with green eyes - eyes almost precisely the same shade as Elliot's.
Are these only dreams, or are they remnants of her memory?  Is Elliot more than just a wandering knight?  Can Rosalie find a way to unlock her past...before her future is sealed?

Sleeping Love will be out fall 2017!

How do you guys celebrate the New Year?  Any fun resolutions made, or things you hope to try?  Let me know in the comments below!

Kwanzaa: Unity and Light

Hello everyone!

This past week has seen multiple holidays.  Today's post is going to be about Kwanzaa.  If you're looking for a Hanukkah post, I did one last year that you can read here.  If you're looking for Christmas posts, I've done three over the years.  Whatever you celebrate, I hope you have a lovely holiday season!

So, on to Kwanzaa!

Kwanzaa is an interesting holiday because it isn't associated with any specific religion.  Instead, Kwanzaa is a celebration of ethnicity.  It has its roots in African culture, but the holiday itself is actually fairly recent.  Despite drawing on traditions from many African tribes, including the Zulus and Yorubas, Kwanzaa was invented in 1966.  It was a time of racial strife in the United States, with serious riots taking place in LA the summer before.  Seeing the troubles of African Americans, an African American professor by the name of Maulana Karenga decided to take action.

Karenga had studied African tribes, their culture, and their customs rather extensively.  Many cultures from all around the world have harvest festivals of some sort or another, usually involving a celebration and light.  Hinduism has the Diwali festival; a Celtic harvest festival is Samhain.  There are so many cultures in Africa that there isn't a single harvest festival, but the many variations on such a holiday all have some things in common.  Karenga examined these similarities and came up with the concept for Kwanzaa.

So if Kwanzaa isn't associated with a religion, what exactly is it?  Well, it's a celebration of one's roots.  Kwanzaa examines the past to strengthen modern ties.

"It is a time to strengthen the bonds among people, just as the harvest was an occasion to gather together, and to give thanks tot he Creator for a bountiful life.  It is also a time for African Americans to honor their roots and heritage, and to commemorate the struggles and survival of their people."*

 

I'm actually very curious to see if there's been an increase in Kwanzaa celebrations in the past several years.  At its core, Kwanzaa is an African American celebration, though it has spread to other countries and cultures since its creation.  I wonder if the Black Lives Matter movement has increased the number of African Americans celebrants.

 

If you'd like to read about all of the customs and decorations associated with Kwanzaa, you can visit the official Kwanzaa website here.  However, I'd like to sum up a few parts of the holiday.

 

There are a number of decorations associated with Kwanzaa.  Within a house, they're usually all placed on one table to form a display.

Corn, or a bowl of other crops, are traditional to represent the harvest.  Ears of corn are also associated with the children of the family.  These are placed atop a mat woven out of straw, called a mkeka.  A cup is also placed in the display, and is filled each night with a wine which is passed around for everyone to take a sip of.

 

There are three pieces of Kwanzaa which are probably the most integral to the holiday, as well as the most easily recognizable.  These are the candles (and their holder, called a kinara), the colors, and the seven principles.

 

The official colors of Kwanzaa are black, red, and green - the colors of the pan-African flag.  Each color represents something important to the African culture.  Black represents their skin, and the unity between all Africans.  Red stands for struggle and the conflicts that Africans face.  Green symbolizes the future, and the hope that is held for it.

 

There are seven days of Kwanzaa (starting today and running until January 1st), and seven candles.  Each candle is associated with one of the seven principles, called the Nguzo Saba.  On each day a candle is lit, and the principle with which it is associated is explained.

 

 

The black candle is lit on the first day.  After that, the candle lighting alternates between the left side (the red candles) and the right (the green candles).  Because of this, the lighting ceremony shows that though there are always struggles, hope follows them.  I think that's a beautiful message.

Kwanzaa is celebrated in different ways by the many people who celebrate it.  Some wear traditional African dress during the seven days of the festival.  Others play African music.  Many families get together and cook up some African recipes for celebration feasts (because, like many harvest festivals, Kwanzaa has lots of feasting!).  Gift giving is also a tradition, though gifts are mostly for the children.  Originally Kwanzaa gifts were supposed to be either educational or African in origin, but the holiday has become more generally commercialized in recent years.

I hope this has been an interesting read for you guys!  If you celebrate, then Harambee! and happy Kwanzaa!

*Quote from Holiday Symbols and Customs.

Odin is Santa Claus

Hey guys! How are you doing? Did you see Rogue One yet? (I confess, I've already been twice and I'm going again on Thursday. Such a great Star Wars movie!!)

It's December, and a ton of holidays are about to kick off. Because of this, today's post and those of the next two weeks will each be taking a look at a different holiday.

Since Christmas Eve (and Santa's trip around the world) are less than a week away, let's take a look at the origins of the world's favorite fat, jolly man.

Except...Has he always been so fat and jolly? Could Santa Claus, good ol' Saint Nick, have his origins not in a Christian saint, but in a pagan deity?

The concept of Santa being Odin was first introduced to me in Jim Butcher's Dresden Files series, and the idea has stuck with me ever since. After a bunch of research, I finally decided to write up a post about the idea. Let's jump into it!

About this time last year I did a post about Yule, a Norse holiday which celebrates the end of the cold season and the returning of the sun. A large part of Yule revolves around worshiping Odin, who is sometimes called the Yule Father.

Part of Odin's role in Yule-time was the leading of the Wild Hunt. There are so many myths tied to this hunt that it unfortunately is somewhat difficult to explain. A common belief among many cultures is that the lands of the dead and the living are much closer together during times of equinox or solstice. Yule traditionally falls around the winter solstice. Some tales say that the Wild Hunt is a hunting party of monsters – such as witches and devils – who cross the barrier between worlds for this one night. Other stories say that the Wild Hunt is comprised of the souls of those who have died during the year, and that Odin is leading them into the next life. There are many variations in between those two extremes.

One near-constant amongst the Norse was the presence of Odin at the head of the Wild Hunt. Some old folk customs around Yule are tied to the god's presence.

Being American, a yearly tradition for my family is to leave out milk and cookies for Santa Claus. When I wake up on Christmas morning, the cookies have been eaten – and the stockings have been filled with presents. However, I have some friends whose family is Germanic, and they grew up leaving shoes stuffed with straw and carrots for Saint Nicholas' reindeer. The reindeer food disappears overnight, and when they wake up in the morning oranges and small toys are in their shoes instead.

Apparently this tradition stretches back beyond Christianity's influence on the Nordic folk. It was customary for small children to leave their shoes filled with hay and carrots around Yule – not for the reindeer or Santa, but for Odin and his horse, Sleipnir. Sleipnir would eat the goodies, and Odin would leave small presents in the shoes.  That's right - Odin and Santa are both known for distributing gifts to small children!

What I find most interesting about this whole theory is the explanation for how we went from Odin, riding atop Sleipnir, to Santa, with his chariot pulled by eight reindeer. Santa/Saint Nick has ridden many a creature in his travels throughout time and the world. Sometimes it has been a goat, or a donkey. Often it is a horse. The depiction of the reindeer did not appear until the early 1800s. The poem credited with introducing the eight reindeer is known in modern times as “ 'Twas the Night Before Christmas”, though it was called “A Visit from St. Nicholas” when it was first published in 1823. Why does the use of eight reindeer intrigue me so? Well, if you've read my previous posts about Odin, you might recall that Sleipnir has eight legs.

Imagine how different the poem could have been!
 

“When what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But Odin upon his great battle horse, Sleipnir!”

Perhaps the part that convinces me the most that Santa Claus has his roots in Odin lies in the appearance of the Christmas figure. Modern times have painted a picture of a jolly fat man, with a bushy white beard and a red suit. However, earlier pictures of Santa portrayed him as tall and slender – though he maintained the beard!  These depictions are eerily similar to those of the Norse god (as well as Gandalf, whom Tolkien based upon Odin. That's right – if this theory is correct, Gandalf is Santa!).

 

 

Again, if you've read my posts about Odin you might recall his tendency to wander the world disguised as an old human man, who roams about helping out mankind. That sounds rather like Santa Claus to me! More evidence of a connection between the two can be found in one of the most common myths about Santa Claus.

“He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows if you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good -

So be good, for goodness' sake!”

In Norse mythology, Odin sacrificed one of his eyes for great wisdom and the ability to see into the future. He also possesses two ravens, Huginn and Muninn. Every day these ravens fly all over the world, and as the sun goes down they return to Odin to tell him everything they've seen. What better way to spy on children all over the world?
 

Personally, I think that the modern Santa Claus has been influenced by a lot of things. Christianity has certainly has certainly helped form his character, as has commercialism. Pop culture too has had a huge impact, as evidenced by Rudolph. Could Odin have been a part of the beginnings of Santa Claus' story? I'd like to think so. Even if you disagree, I hope this look at some of the parallels between the two has been interesting.

 

 

Merry Christmas and a happy Yule to you all! I'll be back next week with a post about Kwanzaa!

Maui and the Vagina of Death

Alright guys.  I try very hard to keep my posts kid friendly - which can be difficult, considering how sex and violence filled most mythologies are.  For this post...well, there really wasn't any way to make it PG.  You have been warned!

My final post about Maui is also the story of the demigod's death.  In the past several weeks, we've talked about a lot of the hero's exploits.  He raised the islands from beneath the sea; he stole fire for mankind; he tamed the sun.  All of these are pretty impressive accomplishments.

Unfortunately, Maui let his achievements go to his head.  He became very proud of all that he had done, and began to think himself invincible.

Now, at this point in time, things were a little different than they are now.  Mankind was mortal, but no one had died yet.  The goddess of the underworld, Hine-nui-te-pō, existed - but she hadn't yet taken anyone from the realm of the living.

When Maui heard of Hine-nui-te-pō's existence, he took it as a challenge.  For a hero so great as he, one who had accomplished so much already...well, defeating death ought to be easy, right?

Wrong.

Maui set out and found the place where Hine-nui-te-pō made her home.  He knew exactly what he had to do.  The ritual was...interesting, to say the least.

When a person enters this world, they exit their mothers womb.  Life therefore comes out of the vagina, right?  Well, in order to defeat death, Maui needed to reverse that ceremony.  He needed to climb into Hine-nui-te-pō's vagina, through her womb, and out of her mouth.  If he could do this, death would be defeated, and everyone would be immortal.

I'm not joking.  That was his plan.

Now, there were a couple of problems right off of the bat.  First off (in my mind, at least)...how was he even going to fit?  Second, was she just going to lay there and let him try this?  And lastly...did I mention that her vagina was lined with sharp, jagged obsidian teeth?

Yeah, this sounds like a great idea!

Maui arrived at Hine-nui-te-pō's lair and found the goddess fast asleep.  Well, that made life easier!  He wouldn't have to worry about sneaking up on her.  All he had to do was to make sure she didn't wake up.

In some versions of the story, Maui was accompanied by his brothers.  In others, there were birds sitting on a nearby tree.  Whichever it was, the demigod explained his plan to them.  He then warned the spectators that, whatever happened, they must not laugh.  If they laughed, Hine-nui-te-pō would awaken, and Maui would be killed.

The brothers/birds agreed.  Maui stripped and approached the goddess.

(For those of you who are curious and don't mind a NSFW image, you can find one here.)

At first everything seemed to be going well.  First Maui shoved his head inside Hine-nui-te-pō (who somehow remained asleep throughout this).  Next came his arms, then his shoulders.  At last he had made it halfway in!

Unfortunately, the spectacle proved to be too much for the brothers/birds.  They had been swallowing their laughter for as long as they could, but they could hold it in no longer.  One of them let out a loud chortle.

Immediately Hine-nui-te-pō awoke.  Her muscles clenched and her thighs slammed together.  The obsidian teeth of her vagina cut Maui in half.

And so it was that Maui's adventures ended.  He was the first being to die, and with his demise, death entered the world and from there on out would claim mortals.  To add insult to injury...the mighty hero was slain by a vagina.

I hope you guys enjoyed the story, and this look into Polynesian mythology!  Maui is a hilarious character.  What did you think of him?

See you next week!

Maui and the Stealing of Fire

Hello all!  How's your week going?  For those of you about to start finals, I wish you the best of luck.  If you're swamped with homework, hang in there - the end of the semester is in sight!

(On a non-mythological note...Star Wars.  Less than two weeks.  AAAHHHH!)

I've got two stories left that I want to tell about Maui.  Next week's will be one of the more interesting posts I've done.  For this week, however, I want to talk about fire.  There's a lot of variations on the story of how Maui stole fire, so I'll do a post about one story and then link you to another.

Having already raised the Polynesian islands and tamed the sun, one might think that Maui had done enough for humanity.  But no!  The hero was not yet done.  He wanted to be of more help to mankind.  So Maui decided that he was going to set out to steal fire, so that humans could warm themselves by its flames, cook their food, and have light even at night.

(Sound familiar?  The Greek Titan Prometheus stole fire and distributed it to mankind.)

Maui went to visit Mahuika, the goddess of fire.  He asked her to send some fire with him so that he could light the villages of man.  Mahuika obligingly plucked out one of her fingernails - which was an ember - and gave it to Maui.

Remember that Maui is a trickster?  He didn't just take the fire back to humans and call his trip a success.  No, he had to figure out some way to trick Mahuika.  So Maui left the cave she called home, and, as soon as he was out of sight, extinguished the nail she had given him.  The demigod then reentered Mahuika's home and asked for more fire, since the last one had gone out.

Mahuika suspected nothing, and gave him another of her fingernails.  This continued until she eventually had only one left.  By now the goddess knew that she was being pranked, and she wasn't happy.  She threw the last fingernail at Maui, but it caught on some dried wood and created a massive flame.

The demigod was able to escape, but Maui had learned the secret of fire.  He returned to mankind and was able to teach them how to create flames of their own using dried wood.

That's the story I learned for how Maui found fire.  If you want to read another, here's a link!  In it, Maui is even more of a trickster - mankind already had fire, but he wanted to know where the flames came from, so he extinguished all of them to find out.

Interestingly enough, a couple of the Polynesian tribes in New Zealand have a variant on this story where Mahuika is actually Mahu-ika, and is a male giant.  In their stories Maui wrestles the giant and eventually breaks his neck, then beheads him to take a spark of flame (which sets the world on fire, endangering everyone until the gods step in to save the day).

I find the way Mahuika's home is described fascinating, because it sounds to me like she lives inside a mountain.  Though I've only ever heard her called the goddess of fires, I wonder if she's associated with volcanoes as well.  The small sparks of flame (her fingernails) culminating in a huge woodland fire sound like a volcano spitting lava.

What do you guys think?

I'll be back next week with my final (and hilarious!) story about Maui.  See you then!