The Drop Bear

Hello readers!  Today I'm off for a family vacation to Disneyland.  As such, I thought I'd make today's post an entertaining one.  Most of the monsters I've talked about so far have been pretty fearsome creatures, and while today's is terrifying as well, it's also rather tongue-in-cheek.  With that in mind, lets drop into the lore of...the Drop Bear!

Native to regions of Australia, the Drop Bear is a horrific critter: mangy, reeking, and, above all, carnivorous.  It gets its name from its tendency to lurk in tall trees, dropping onto the heads of its victims.  Many Australians are familiar with this monstrosity, having known family or friends-of-friends who have been attacked by the Drop Bear.  As such, they go out of their way to warn tourists about the dangers of the monster.  Still, many non-Australians have never heard of the fearsome Drop Bear - my own mother included.  When I showed her a picture, she stared at it in horror, then demanded that I show her a picture of a regular, cute koala.

Be warned!  It is difficult to find PG images for the Drop Bear.  Due to this, many of today's pictures are gruesome in nature, and not for the faint of heart.

(Sorry, mom.)

At this point I'm sure some of you are scoffing at what appears to be a koala bear with fangs.  This is how the Drop Bear surprises its victims, and why tourists are the most likely to be attacked!  It is common knowledge that the koala bear is a slow-moving, adorable herbivore.  Well, the Drop Bear is its lesser known carnivorous cousin.  While both are arboreal, the Drop Bear uses trees as a means of hunting its prey.  Its name comes from its habit of lurking in the tree tops.  When an unsuspecting victim passes underneath, the Drop Bear drops from its hiding place onto their head, stunning them long enough for it to begin to feed.  If the prey is small enough to carry, the Drop Bear will haul it into the tree and eat there.

For a NSFW image of a Drop Bear attack directly from the Australian Museum, click here.  For everyone else, I have this:

Still not convinced as to the authenticity of these creatures?  The Australian Museum has an entire exhibit dedicated to them.  In addition, basic information may be found on their website, on this page.  The Department of Dangerous Fauna Management also has a public warning about the Drop Bear - but the mangled corpse in it makes it NSFW, so I'll just link it here.

So how does one combat the deadly Drop Bear?  Well, if at all possible, avoid making contact with them at all.  They can weigh up to 120 kg.  (For my American readers, that's over 250 pounds!)  Between their size, their strength, and their teeth, you're unlikely to escape once they drop on you.  Keep an eye out for signs warning of Drop Bear location in the area.  If you must wander beneath a tree, check its branches first.  Listen for the telltale hiss of the Drop Bear.

Folk remedies have also been suggested, though it is not known how effective they are.  The most popular is the spreading of Vegemite, an Australian condiment, behind the ears.  Toothpaste is also said to have the same effect.

But most importantly, my friends, remember:

Look up.  Stay alive.

I'll see you next week!

Author's note: Please note I am aware that the Drop Bear is an openly admitted hoax.  This post was written as a joke.  I have two friends in Australia who've been trying to convince me of their existence for some time.  When I discovered that even the Australian Museum is in on the joke, I just had to make a post about them.

Drop Bears are fake, folks.  Think of them as a really elaborate, nation-wide April Fool's Day prank.

That being said, I hope this gave you a smile!